The Tales of an Infinite Regressor

[Translator – Jjsecus]

[Proofreader – Gun]

Chapter 74 – Genetic Factor II

Noh Doha’s ominous muttering had no impact on our safari adventure.

Even the usually reserved Sim Aryeon and Seo Gyu were chattering excitedly in the backseat, likely aided by the factory-made chips and chocolates I’d prepared for the occasion.

“This is the first time I’ve been invited to something like this and had fun with others…”

“It’s also the first time my brother has invited us somewhere, so I have high expectations.”

“Indeed, the Busan Clan… The camaraderie is incomparable to that of lesser groups…!”

I smiled warmly and turned the wheel. Today, I, Doctor Jang, was not the guild master but a humble guide leading this tour.

“From here, we enter the Idea Ranch. Welcome, everyone.”

“Wow! Ah? Aaaah…?”

Sim Aryeon’s cheer, which had reached soprano heights while she looked out the window at the ranch, gradually descended.

“Uh… Guild Master…?”

“Yes?”

“Why is there a ten-meter-tall iron barbed wire and concrete wall around the horse ranch?”

“Hmm.”

I nodded.

“It’s certainly not the most visually appealing outdoor decoration.”

“Y-yes, it’s kind of scary. To be honest, it looks almost… grotesque…?”

“I agree.”

I pressed a remote control button.

With a heavy rumble, the iron gate sealing off the safari theme park slowly opened.

“But Aryeon, the appearance of a structure is only a secondary attribute, never its essence.”

“Uh…?”

“Think about it. Ranches always have fences. It’s natural to prevent the animals from running away. Our Idea Ranch just has a more sturdy and robust fence. The essence of the ranch remains unchanged. Do you understand?”

“Uh…”

The tires of my safari truck rolled elegantly through the gap as the gate opened.

“Oh, you can leave the windows open, but don’t stick your head out. It can be dangerous while driving.”

“Yes, okay…”

As soon as Sim Aryeon pulled her upper body back inside, I pressed the remote control button again.

Clang-

Iron bars rose from the window frame to protect the windows. “Eek,” Sim Aryeon flinched.

“Guild Master? Why did the windows suddenly get iron bars?”

“Oh, I modified the truck for safari use. Isn’t it great? Your guild master is quite handy.”

“It’s impressive, but… why do we need this…?”

“…”

By now, even Seo Gyu was silent like Noh Doha. In the rearview mirror, I saw beads of cold sweat forming on his otherwise stoic face.

“Of course, it’s to thoroughly ensure the safety of our valuable tourists.”

“Uh, but why is safety a concern just for a quick tour of the ranch…?”

“Aryeon.”

Seo Gyu spoke sternly.

“Yes?”

“Buckle your seatbelt.”

“Uh, but seatbelts are uncomfortable and make it hard to breathe…”

That’s when it happened.

-Kkkiieeeek!

“Eeeek!”

At the same time as the cute neighing from outside, Sim Aryeon’s scream echoed inside the truck.

“Ah, everyone, please turn your gaze to 2 o’clock. Do you see it? That is our first horse, Kkinki, proudly presented by Idea Ranch.”

“A horse…?”

Noh Doha looked out through the iron bars with an icy gaze.

“Is that a horse…?”

Outside, a horse was cautiously watching our safari truck.

Its long neck bore a sign with the name “Kkinki,” but it had already broken part of it, leaving only “Kk■ki” visible. Truly a troublemaker.

Of course, having been raised in the Void, its appearance was somewhat different from ordinary horses, in non-essential, secondary attributes.

For instance, Kkinki could walk on two legs, unlike other horses. Not in an upright posture, but hunched over.

Nevertheless, it was a horse.

Its skin, rather than being brown, black, or white, had a greenish hue, likely a result of adapting to the weed-filled plains of the Daesan area.

And… its teeth were sharp. But horses naturally have well-developed teeth. Kkinki had simply undergone a bit of convergent evolution.

Nevertheless, it was a horse.

Finally, its hooves, that is, its nails and claws, were slightly sharper. But considering hooves are a naturally existing part of a horse, this was a minor change.

After observing all these attributes, Noh Doha muttered bleakly.

“That’s… a dinosaur…”

Simultaneously, Kkinki opened its mouth.

-Aaaaack!

Hmm. Given that I’ve built quite a bond with the horses on this ranch over the past six months, I’d interpret that sound as, “What nonsense, Noh Doha-ya? I am indeed a horse.”

“Excuse me? A dinosaur? Come on, don’t slander them. How do our horses even remotely resemble dinosaurs? Dinosaurs were covered in feathers, hideous creatures, while our horses have smooth, sleek skin.”

“Sure, ignoring the fact that horses grow manes, when did horse skin start crossbreeding with reptiles to flaunt smooth, green scales?”

“V-velociraptor?”

Seo Gyu shouted from the back seat.

“Raptor! It’s a raptor, boss!”

“Raptor?”

“Yep! The ones from Jurassic Park—wait a second. No way, boss, you haven’t seen Jurassic Park?”

“Of course not. That movie came out before I was even born.”

“No, that’s the original trilogy from back in the day. My gosh, I can’t believe you’re such a movie novice. There have been so many recent ones too…”

“Aaaack!”

Noh Doha was horrified, Seo Gyu was excited, and Sim Aryeon was cheering. Clearly, everyone was delighted by the cuteness of our precious Kkinki.

I continued driving the safari truck.

“Alright, alright. Now, please turn your heads to the 9 o’clock direction. You will be able to see our thirty-third genetically engineered horse, Pointy. It’s notable for walking on all fours, like a proper horse.”

“That’s a triceratops!”

“Please refrain from calling our Pointy such an undignified name, Seo Gyu.”

“Another dinosaur… What on earth have you done to the horses to make them grow a rhinoceros horn on their heads…?”

“Now, if you look at the 11 o’clock direction, you’ll see Kongkongi. It has a beautifully shaped head.”

“Pachycephalosaurus! The head-butting dinosaur!”

“Oh my, Kongkongi seems pleased to see us, knocking on the truck like that? Haha. Let’s all wave and say hello to Kongkongi!”

“Eek… the truck… it’s shaking, eek…”

As expected, the safari tour was a great success.

Every time I introduced one of our ranch residents, there were thunderous cheers.

In my entire life, including all my past lives, this was one of the most rewarding days as a host.

“Alright then, everyone. Just looking at the horses from the safety of this truck through metal bars is a bit boring, don’t you think?”

“No!”

“I feel the same! So, let’s take some time to interact directly with the horses under my guidance.”

“Aaah! Aaaah…!”

Sim Aryeon wailed. Well, no need to be that excited.

“With that in mind, let me introduce you to the pride of Idea Ranch, my top pick, Kkangkangi.”

[Translator – Jjsecus]

[Proofreader – Gun]

“Kkangkangi…?”

“A very gentle and good-natured fellow. Alright, everyone, please get out of the truck. Aeryeon? Please get out nicely. If you don’t, I’ll expose on SG-net that you’re responsible for leaving the elderly behind.”

“Eek. Heek, heeeeng…”

Leading the group, I got out of the safari truck, followed by the others.

“Kkangkang! Come here!”

Whistle. I pulled out a goat barbecue from the trunk and threw it far into the forest.

Moments later.

Thud!

A goat’s hind leg, torn off, flew out of the forest and hit the truck window, narrowly missing Sim Aryeon’s face.

“Ahhhh!”

“Now, here comes Kkangkangi. Everyone, although Kkangkangi is very good-natured, he’s still young and lacks composure and calmness, so please try not to provoke him.”

“We agreed to call it [bad-tempered]…”

Thud. Thud. Thud—

KkangKangi emerged from between the trees, majestic and imposing. Of all the horses I had seen, this one was by far the largest. Its hind legs were tremendously powerful compared to its rather spindly front legs.

Most importantly, its head was a thing of beauty.

Seo Gyu punched the air in excitement.

“Yes! It has to be a T-rex! And it’s even the featherless version! Damn, who cares about scientific accuracy!”

“Gulp…”

Seo Gyu, who had refrained from swearing for a while, couldn’t contain himself, while Sim Aryeon collapsed in a heap beside him, overwhelmed by emotion. It was understandable, given how impressive KkangKangi was.

-Roooaaar!

It seemed KkangKangi was happy to see me, probably because it recognized its dad.

“As you just heard, KkangKangi has a distinctive roar and is the youngest member of our ranch. He loves goat meat the most.”

“A carnivorous horse…?”

“Of course. Why discriminate against our boy just because he enjoys some meat?”

“Aha. I always wondered why Doctor Jang didn’t have a family or pets. But today, I realize it’s probably for the best that you don’t have children or pets…”

Thud! Thud!

KkangKangi charged toward me on its powerful hind legs. I summoned my aura and wrapped my arms around its head.

“Oh, there, there. Did you miss Daddy a lot?”

-Roooaaar!

“Good boy. Don’t spill your food. Here, eat this goat leg you dropped. Chew it well.”

-Growl! Roar!

“Isn’t our KkangKangi adorable?”

“….”

Sim Aryeon was still unconscious, so no answer came from her. Seo Gyu was too busy examining KkangKangi closely. That left Noh Doha, who, despite his lack of empathy, had to respond.

“You’re just overpowering a T-rex with brute strength…”

After this highlight of the safari tour, we headed back to our lodgings. Sim Aryeon remained unconscious the entire time.

I smiled broadly.

“So, chief Noh Doha, what do you think of the achievements at our ranch?”

“Hmm…”

“I believe KkangKangi would be the most suitable for our cavalry.”

“Hmmm…”

“Raising them isn’t easy, but with time and budget, I will raise 1,000 KkangKangi to create the world’s strongest cavalry. Of course, all the riders will blow horns that I crafted during charges.”

“Hmm.”

Noh Doha smiled broadly, a rare sight for him.

“Ridiculous.”

Why?

3

Epilogue 1.

In the end, KkangKangi’s cavalry debut was canceled, but not all of Idea Ranch’s achievements were overlooked.

“Doctor Jang. That giant dinosaur, Pointy or whatever it’s called, does it eat a lot of feed…?”

“No, thanks to the mysteries of void genetics, most of its energy needs are absorbed through its skin. And it’s a horse, not a dinosaur.”

“Whether it’s a dinosaur or a horse, that’s good news. We’ll use Pointy for heavy lifting in the national road maintenance team…”

Additionally, instead of KkangKangi, the military horse selected for the awakened riders was KongKong, specialized in headbutting.

Naturally, I vehemently opposed this dreadful decision.

“No! Cavalry must be stylish! What romance is there in riding KongKong into battle!”

“But your KkangKangi eats nearly 100kg of meat daily…? Meanwhile, KongKong needs little feed and is very docile. There’s no reason to hesitate…”

“Calm down! Cavalry isn’t about efficiency!”

“Then call it a mobile unit or a dinosaur unit. Damn. I’m fine with just calling it the national road maintenance team…”

“How is this possible? How can a human being possess such sensitivity?”

Eventually, starting from Episode 380, occasionally, awakened individuals on the Korean Peninsula began riding KongKong around. Although this story is limited to the episodes where I managed Idea Ranch.

I returned alone, and KongKong was waiting for me. Beyond the horizon, the crimson sunset was sinking.

“I’m sorry, KongKong. It seems I won’t be able to find you a mate…”

-Rooooar.

“It’s okay. My life doesn’t find its value in romantic relationships, but in philosophical exploration,” KongKong replied.

Ah! How poignant.

Drenched in sadness, I mounted KongKong’s back and blew the horn.

-Hooooooow!

-Rooooooar!

A horse and a human roared against the backdrop of the fiery sunset.

The human romance with the cavalry had finally reached its conclusion.

Epilogue 2.

“Seo Gyu, I watched the dinosaur movie you recommended last time. I don’t know, I didn’t really like it.”

“Really? How many did you watch?”

“Six. I heard that was the final one, so I watched it first. It was called Dominion. Why would you recommend such movies?”

“Well, bro, damn…”

-Genetic Factors.

-End

[Translator – Jjsecus]

[Proofreader – Gun]