Vaudevillain

Dr. Zlo - The Musical (6)

Dr. Zlo watches Sweet Dream leave before turning back to Wonderman.

Dr. Zlo

And now that youre at my mercy, I shall explain to you my grand design!

Wonderman

No! Anything but a monologue!

Dr. Zlo

Oh, so overdramatic. A bit of a lecture will do you some good!

Dr. Zlo starts to pace around his foe.

Dr. Zlo

You see, Wonderman, stealing money from the bank is only step one in my grand evil plan to take over the city!

The Jacques look to each other, confused. As far as they knew, Dr. Zlo only had one step to his grand plan. That step being steal from the bank.

Dr. Zlo

The villain continues with a flourish. Everyone knows to keep some cash on hand when running a business! Thats just good sense! But what happens when all of their liquidity is quite literally flushed away? Utter chaos! Thats what! Businesses will no longer be able to keep their accounts straight, leaving several hundred poor accountants to work overtime to balance the accounts! Itll take weeks for them to fix everything! And in that time, whats a bit of lost inventory? Or perhaps there are a few new employees working for a paycheck. Who knows? The entire board of directors could get replaced!

Wonderman

Struggling harder under Evilles power. You slimy, scheming, serpent! Dont you dare cut those honest shareholders out of their rightly earned net worth!

Everyone pauses for a beat until Wonderman realizes what just came out of his mouth.

Wonderman

I mean, dont you dare replace honest workers with your phony hacks!

Dr. Zlo

Ha! And whos going to stop me? Certainly not the hero caught in my trap! Now, I have places to be, people to subdue, you know the drill. Come, Eville!

Dr. Zlo walks off stage. Eville follows but stops next to Wonderman and whispers.

Eville

Dont his speeches get you all riled up? That charisma is something else aint it?

Wonderman

Miss. Dont fall for that neer-do-wells scintillating words! The path of villainy only leads to doom and destruction!

Eville

Aw, youre sweet. Too bad youre stuck in that ice block, or I might be tempted. Toodles!

Eville walks off, the liquid cash in tow. Before she leaves, the woman turns back to Wonderman.

Eville

Oh, and you might want to be careful about breaking that ice. Some of the chemicals in there can get a bit... explosive.

Eville cackles as she walks off stage. The sounds of the Zlomobile driving off echo in the theater a few moments later, leaving Wonderman alone with the citizens as the lights dim. But before they drop completely, we see another figure appear and slice through the ice, freeing Wonderman.

SCENE CHANGE

The next scene opens on a group of Jacques slumped over various set pieces resembling Dr. Zlos mansion, breathing heavily. Dr. Zlo and Eville walk in a moment later, Cass closing an imaginary door behind him.

Dr. Zlo

I think that went well, dont you?

Eville

Oh, yes!

Dr. Zlo

Now, for the next stage of my plan. Cass!

Cass

Yeah, boss?

Dr. Zlo

Find us a company scrambling to fix its accounts after my magnificent heist.

Cass

Uh, boss. Wasnt stealing money the only part of the plan?

Dr. Zlo

Cass, did you think I would reveal all of my plan? Were working with other villains, not heroes! Whos to say Sweet Dream wouldnt steal my idea? No, we keep our schemes close to the chest.

Dr. Zlo pauses for a beat.

Plus, Sweet Dream would tell me thats not how business works.

Cass

Right boss. Ill get right on finding you that company. Cass exits the stage.

Dr. Zlo

Turning to Eville.

And as for you! Such a grand use of power! I could use power like that on my team.

Eville

With dramatic flair that only exists in campy B movies. Oh, Eric! I thought youd never ask! Of course Ill join the team!

Dr. Zlo

First order of business. None of this Eric nonsense. My name is Dr. Zlo! Mastermind of evil! Lord of schemes!

Eville

Oh, I love it when you wax poetic. Eville saunters over to Dr. Zlo, her face in smiling adoration. Dr. Zlo raises an eyebrow at the movement.

Cass returns at that moment with news.

Cass

Excellent news, boss! I found the perfect company!

Eville turns, the smile on her face replaced with a frown. Cass recoils from the look, but Dr. Zlo doesnt notice.

Dr. Zlo

Perfect, Cass! Where?

Cass

Its a hedge fund called CorSyn. Some AI-backed fund. The loss of cash on hand has made the computer go haywire! Theres accountants everywhere trying to balance the books!

Dr. Zlo

Muahaha! See, I knew my plan would bear fruit! Come, minions!

Jacques roll off of their respective set pieces standing at attention as Dr. Zlo marches off stage left. Cass and Eville follow, leaving the Jacques alone for a moment. Then, one of them flips a set piece to reveal the autotuner underneath. The Jacques march off stage with it in tow. A few Jacques dont follow, flipping their set pieces to reveal various office desks.

The minions pull notebooks and pens from the desks and don their various citizen masks. Some are in obvious disarray. Dr. Zlo walks in stage right with Cass and Eville behind him. Once they arrive, the Jacques start working furiously.

Dr. Zlo

Ah, just look at it, Cass. I love it when a plan comes together.

Cass nods.

Eville

And what dastardly deeds will we do with this company, Dr. Zlo?

Dr. Zlo

Hmm. Excellent question. I would supplant a few employees with Jacques, but I fear the minions ineptitude will expose them sooner than I would like. I cant leave Cass in charge either; no one else is fit enough to be by my side.

Eville

The mistress of the dark saunters up next to Dr. Zlo. Perhaps theres another who could take his place? Temporarily, of course.

Cass looks shocked at the suggestion.

Dr. Zlo

Who? Quartet? Why, that off-key maestro couldnt mix a decent drink if he used all four bodies!

Eville

Perhaps someone more... feminine?

Dr. Zlo

Bah, Mabels too flighty. She would leave once some new stud comes along.

Eville

The woman clears her throat. Perhaps someone closer. Right next to you, perhaps?

Dr. Zlo

Looking confused. Sweet Dream isnt a minion, and shed never accept becoming my butler.

Eville sighs with exasperation.

Eville

Muttering under her breath. I guess youre not ready to see the truth yet.

Cass, however, notices. And he doesnt take kindly to this new woman trying to muscle in on his territory.

Cass

Boss, what if we used Eville?

Dr. Zlo

Not now, Cass. Im thinking.

The Jacques continue to work frantically in the background, paper flying off their notebooks as they scribble. Eventually, a new character steps in stage left. A large, beefy man with rippling muscles and a stomach rounder than a bowling ball. A three-piece suit, a bit too tight around the edges, strains to keep the mans dignity intact.

Obvious Mafia Boss

Alright, you louts! Did you figure out who stole our hard-earned cash yet?

The Jacques shake their heads frantically. The obvious mafia boss pulls out a cigar (a stage cigar, of course) and chomps down on it like gum.

Obvious Mafia Boss

Well, hurry up! The boss turns to Dr. Zlo. And who are you three?

Dr. Zlo

Bowing. Dr. Zlo, criminal mastermind at your service!

Obvious Mafia Boss

Ive heard a you. Aint you the fella that Valiant beats all the time?

Dr. Zlo

You must have me confused with some other villain. Valiant doesnt beat me.

Obvious Mafia Boss

No, no. I think Id know some other yahoo in a top hat and suit.

Eville

How dare you call Dr. Zlo a yahoo! Hes a grade a buffoon at the very least!

Dr. Zlo

Eville.

Eville

Yes?

Dr. Zlo

While I appreciate the willingness to defend my reputation, perhaps leave it to me next time?

Eville

Ah, I should have known you would want to put this man in his place.

Obvious Mafia Boss

Oh, so youre the one trying to muscle in on my territory, eh? Trying to get up in my business?

Dr. Zlo

Brandishing his cane. Hit the nail on the head! Thats right, Im here to commandeer your business, CorpSyn, and use it to further my own nefarious plots! Now, accept me as your new master and I might let you continue running the place.

Obvious Mafia Boss

The man postures, squaring his shoulders and huffing the cigar. You think you can just come in here and make demands?

Dr. Zlo

I dont know any other way! Dr. Zlo cackles.

The mafia boss starts rolling up his sleeves to fight, but before he can get going, the sound of a window shattering stage left causes him to turn. Wonderman swoops in, punching the mafia boss and sending him flying past Dr. Zlo and off the stage. (I imagine it would be funnier to make the man backpedal until he left the stage, but the creative choices are, of course, the director's decision.)

Wonderman

Never fear, Wonderman is here!

Another window shatters. This time, a short woman swoops on stage. She wears the same colors as Wonderman, white with rainbow hues. However, where Wondermans rainbows are on his gloves, boots, and mask, the womans are on her unitard. A large GW sits prominently on her chest.

Girl Wonder

And dont forget Girl Wonder! Savior of the innocent, protector of peace and love!

Dr. Zlo

Wonderman! Impossible! How did you escape my trap?

Girl Wonder

He had his best sidekick, of course! I swooped in once everyone left and broke him free!

Wonderman

With pride in his eyes. Ah, they grow up so fast. Just yesterday, it feels like I was teaching her how to properly protect the populace from the pernicious pustule of crime.

Dr. Zlo and Eville roll their eyes at the scene.