Transformation or Death

Chapter 75

Severed Traces (8)

Yesterday or today, at a late hour that could be called the space between night and dawn, Yoon Seol-hwa received a call.

The caller was none other than Han Jae-jung. 

An ex-lover, but also someone she still loves today, and someone she could never forget no matter what happens tomorrow.

She received a call from him. Yoon Seol-hwa was startled and tensed up like a girl receiving a letter from her crush.

She couldn’t help it. It was him, whom she hadn’t seen or even heard his voice or read his writing since their last meeting at the hospital.

The one who fled like he was running away while Yoon Seol-hwa was lying down after being attacked by the villain of Turtle Constellation.

Even though her wounds probably hadn’t fully healed yet, seeing him run away like that, Yoon Seol-hwa was certain.

‘He’s feeling uncomfortable around me.’

‘Because of me, he got insulted… He must be sick of it. It’s because I’m the bad one, it’s me…’

Just for being her boyfriend, he received insults that he couldn’t even dare to think about. Not only that, he took all the insults that were thrown at her as his own and went into seclusion.

Along with the words to never look for him.

The promise to return was gone like a soap bubble, left unkept, and the search efforts that even employed illegal methods failed.

Even in their chance encounters, he consistently maintained his uncomfortable reaction.

Yoon Seol-hwa couldn’t help but be certain that Han Jae-jung didn’t want to see her.

This night’s call came amid all of this.

“…Seol-hwa, can we meet tomorrow?”

“Yes! Yes! Of course! I can even meet you right now! Where should we go?”

Han Jae-jung wants to meet Yoon Seol-hwa!  

“No, it’s too late now… Tomorrow….”

“Tomorrow, you said? Oh, I got it! I’ll go! I’ll definitely go!”

“Uh, uhh…”

“Whether the villain comes or my house catches fire, I’ll definitely go!”

“Well, then you don’t have to come if that happens. Huh, no. Okay, if that’s what you want, who am I to stop you.”

Han Jae-jung let out a small laugh as usual. It was just like the old times. There was no hint of him avoiding her in his voice.

No, it wasn’t that he disliked me!

Her heart pounded so hard it felt like it was shaking her eardrums.  

Even after the call ended, it didn’t change.

Lying on the bed with her fluttering heart, Yoon Seol-hwa looked forward to tomorrow.

‘He doesn’t dislike me…!’

She waited a long time for the night to pass.  

Before she knew it, the sun had risen in the world.

“…Huh?”

On the promised day, Yoon Seol-hwa stayed up all night!

***

Ippotransaltion

***

Yoon Seol-hwa, who wore a hat pulled down low, had puffy eyes. Even her haggard gaze transformed into a kind of decadent beauty fitting for such a beautiful woman as herself. However, it was not a look that Han Jae-jung could welcome wholeheartedly. 

‘…She must have been through so much hardship.’

He felt guilty for neglecting someone who now looked like that.

‘Jae-jung seems relieved to see my face… He’s happy.’

He could not have imagined that she might have stayed up all night, too excited about their promised meeting to sleep, like a child before a picnic.

For that childish reason before a picnic, Yoon Seol-hwa had spent the night awake. She had worried that if she felt sleepy when meeting Han Jae-jung, she might not be able to listen to him properly, but fortunately, that did not seem to be a concern.

‘Look at those eyes and that nose bridge… Sharp and pretty. Too beautiful. Might she be prettier than me? No, could she be the prettiest in the world?’

Seeing Han Jae-jung’s healthy face after so long instantly drove away Yoon Seol-hwa’s sleepiness. Of course, that was only mentally, as her body still craved sleep, but….

‘This is bliss, this is happiness! Jae-jung you’re so handsome!!! The best!!! I love you!!!!’

No obstacle could hinder the internal roar erupting from Yoon Seol-hwa.

“Um… Seol-hwa.”

“Yes? Oh, no. Uh, yes! Why?”

Busy managing her expression, Yoon Seol-hwa unintentionally took on a cold and gloomy air.

‘Maybe he didn’t want to see me after all? Is that why he’s come to see me now, wondering how he can face me? Or is he consumed by some weird sense of guilt again…? Even though he did nothing wrong, he’s being silly and nice…’

Seeing this, Han Jae-jung guessed that Yoon Seol-hwa’s suffering was showing on her face.

“Have you… been going through a really hard time?”

“Ah yes… It was hard, but… I’m okay now. Really!”

It was the truth.

‘That’s right, what does it matter about me, as long as Jae-jung is happy and pretty, it’s all good.’

The joy of their reunion combined with the peculiarly heightened tension from staying up all night, creating a synergy that oddly made her feel extremely positive.

“Well, Seol-hwa, the reason I came to see you today is… to apologize.”

“Apologize?”

What is he apologizing for? The crime of being too great? The crime of stealing my heart? Yes, being so great that it provokes jealousy could perhaps be called a crime.

To the seriously infatuated Yoon Seol-hwa, he was an utterly captivating being. No matter how many painful memories from the past piled up, she could not think of them now. 

She was in a hurry to taste the present happiness.

He was light. A dazzlingly bright light that blinded her eyes. A beautiful and sublime radiance that covered everything in whiteness, making her unable to see her surroundings.

It was a kind of worship, an escape.

Though there were mountains of unresolved issues, they all seemed to melt away before that light. 

When the light disappeared and darkness fell, those issues would undoubtedly freeze over and reappear, but for now she decided not to think about it. She didn’t even have the energy.

“I avoided you all this time….”

“Jae-jung.”

Yoon Seol-hwa placed her hand over Han Jae-jung’s. From the slightly cool temperature, he realized immediately that someone was making contact with him. 

It was cool, but he didn’t want to avoid it. It was a pleasantly chilly temperature, perfect for this winter – a sweet coldness.

“It’s okay. That could happen. If it gets too hard… Like you wrote in the letter you left, you might want to run away.”

Yoon Seol-hwa guessed his intention and dismissed it.

“I’m okay. Really.”

Just yesterday she wasn’t okay, but…

‘Now… I’m okay… yes.’

It wasn’t a lie.

“You’ve come back to me like this, after all. So, I don’t care about anything else. That alone is enough for me. You don’t need to make excuses. This fact alone is enough.”

She raised his hand and brought it to her chest. Looking into his eyes, Yoon Seol-hwa smiled faintly. It was a beautiful dawn that made her forget all about the decadence and gloom from before.

“To be honest, it was a little hard. But… you tried to meet me like this, didn’t you? Cutting your hair and beard, getting dressed up. Being able to groom yourself means you have the leisure to care how you appear to others. In other words, it means you have the will to elevate yourself. Jae-jung, you’ve decided not to hide anymore. You’ve decided to unabashedly pursue happiness. As long as you’re happy, that’s enough for me.”

Yoon Seol-hwa laughed, as if her depression until yesterday had been a lie.  

That was the extent of it.

For her, the fact that Han Jae-jung hadn’t forgotten her, avoided her, or disliked her carried that meaning.

It was an intense joy that shattered her dreary sorrow. Yoon Seol-hwa could no longer manage her expression.

Her beautiful eyes and features were like sunbeams peeking through the clouds after rain.

Her slightly flushed cheeks were because the hand she was holding after so long felt warm, and because she still had the innocence to blush just from holding hands.

“So, Jae-jung… you don’t need to apologize. In fact, I should be thanking you.”

Han Jae-joong was flustered. The many excuses and apologies he had prepared ended before he could use them.

‘I had even picked out a hospital in case I needed emergency treatment after disemboweling myself…’  

It seemed there was no need to resort to his final plan.

“Oh, but Jae-jung. Why did you suggest meeting at the hospital? Did you get hurt…? You’re hurt, aren’t you?! Or did something happen…? Are, are you okay?”  

Yoon Seol-hwa, who had already decided in her mind that Han Jae-jung had some injury or illness, asked with great concern.

“No, nothing like that.”

The lump on the back of his head had been treated. He had chosen this location not because of a past injury, but out of concern for a future one.

“No, it’s not that… You know how when we were kids… you had to get your heart checked a lot? That kind of thing… I was reminded of that memory… Memories are always so vivid, right? Memories are nice… right?”

He was still a bad liar when it came to important matters.

Han Jae-jung didn’t have a single childhood memory left, but he answered that way by utilizing the knowledge he had read from the original work.

“Jae-jung…”

As if moved, Yoon Seol-hwa sobbed. It was surprising that she fell for words like this, and at the same time, Han Jae-jung’s guilt grew stronger at Yoon Seol-hwa’s innocence that made her fall for such words.

“As expected… you didn’t forget me…” 

The fact that he had pretended not to know her at the hospital before was bleached white, and Yoon Seol-hwa hugged his arm. She wanted to hug him right away, but she chose skinship as the next best option because it seemed burdensome.

In fact, it was closer to embracing the arm than hugging the arm. In an instant, his arm was enveloped between her two breasts, and the hand that went down the arm became tightly closed from below.

There was no longer a cool body temperature. It was rather hot enough. He saw a drop of sweat running down the collarbone.

The erotic charm it created with just a single drop was quite outstanding.

“Welcome back, Jae-jung.”

Was it because of the bra? The sensation of her chest felt a little hard. Still, her unique softness could be felt. The bouncy feeling as she gently pushed her arm out was more than a cushion.

Han Jae-jung raised the corners of his mouth, trying his best not to think about the thrilling feeling he felt from his arm.

“Yeah, I’m, I’m back.”

It was beyond imagination. Not the story of the sensation.

It was the thought of Yoon Seol-hwa’s dependence.

Her emotional dependence on Han Jae-jung was stronger than he had imagined.

Until now, her strong intimacy with her colleague Jo Ahyun among alcohol and colleagues was merely a substitute for Han Jae-jung.

But now that she has lost them both due to recent events, how should her emotional stability be sought?

Yoon Seol-hwa is dangerous now. It was too selfish to avoid her with his own sense of guilt.

From the beginning, he had thought about facing her again, and he promised to meet her, thinking it was an opportunity.

‘But I didn’t think it would be to this extent…’

Among the magical girls, she inevitably had to be exceptionally strong. What could be a match for such a great love?

‘It’s been years since we broke up. And it was a ghosting breakup…’

If she had been the victim of a one-sided breakup, she would have been angry. But she has kept her pure love and nurtured her love until now. It was enough to make him admire her.

If she were a figure from the past, she would certainly have been recorded as a virtuous woman.

‘What should I do? I could barely say anything.’

It became even more difficult to bring up the hidden story.

What would happen if she knew about the things he had been through until now?

The hardships he experienced during his seclusion and his current situation. Even the fact that he had lost his memory.

He didn’t want to imagine the impact if she were to find out.

‘Especially the incident with Kalzi and the suicide attempt, I must absolutely hide…’

Blue Sirius is known to have cut off the internet like Han Jae-jung after the cyberbullying incident. She was famous for not even checking the advertisements she had starred in.

‘She probably doesn’t know to what extent I was harassed after the exposure…’

As he watched Yoon Seol-hwa leaning on his shoulder and happily smiling, Han Jae-jung smiled bitterly.

Love is highly paradoxical. While it contributes to creating peace, it also manufactures discord at the same time.

Jealousy, hatred, and anger always accompany the tail of that emotion. It cannot be cut off.

Love is the most beautiful and the most disruptive emotion among human emotions.

He knew of cases in the original work where people turned into villains due to love. To be precise, it was due to hatred from losing love.

If any distortion is inflicted on this love of Yoon Seol-hwa’s,

‘If I die or something…’

He recalled her death in the original work. Just before she died, she showed signs of awakening multiple stars due to Virgo’s mockery. It was terrifying just to imagine.

What must he decide for her sake?

‘Slowly putting distance between us. No, I don’t like that.’

Of course, Yoon Seol-hwa would probably dislike it even more.

What path leads to respect? It was complicated.

Not just Yoon Seol-hwa, but Jo Ahyun was like that too.

‘What is the right thing between what one desires and what is socially and conceptually right?’

It was a complex problem.

He turned his gaze back to Yoon Seol-hwa. As she happily closed her eyes and pressed her body against him, leaned her head on his shoulder and rubbed it to leave her scent on him.

Her unique sweet perfume scent was impressive.

“Jae-jung, what do you want to eat for lunch?”

Seeing Yoon Seol-hwa already thinking about the next plan and smiling brightly, the worries he had been thinking about washed away.

“Whatever you like.”

“Then how about alcohol?”

“That’s fine too.”

“Ah, wait. No, no alcohol! Not alcohol… How about tteokbokki? You used to make it often back then and it was delicious…”

“I’m sorry, but I’ve forgotten that recipe. We’ll have to settle for the ones sold at stores.”

“Eiii~”

“What’s with the eiii?”

“Beee~ seee~”

“See~ dummy. The kid has learned something strange. Have you reached the age for old man jokes?”

“Uh, see, bringing up age? If I’m old, then you’re the same, right Jae-jung?”

“Haha, then it’s an advantage for me? If it’s the same as you, it’s a good thing for me. Go outside and see, I’ll look much older.”

“…? No you don’t? Jae-jung, have you been called old…? Can you tell me the name of that person later?”

“Haha.”

“Jae-jung? I’m being serious?”

Han Jae-jung chuckled at the unpleasant conversation.

‘Yeah, the important thing is for her to be happy.’

Keeping the magical girls happy, that’s what the guardian of guardians should do.

After regaining his composure, Han Jae-jung chatted with Yoon Seol-hwa for a few more minutes before getting up to have lunch.

It was an added bonus to receive sharp glares for engaging in amorous antics without even getting a medical examination.

***

Ippotranslation

***

In the end, the place they chose for lunch was a pasta restaurant with a good atmosphere.

It may have been an obvious choice, but it meant there was a reason for making such a casual selection.

“Hehe, it’s been a while since we did something like this. Jae-jung, what will you have…?”

“Oh? This is quite a coincidence as well.”

A gentleman approached them as they sat down and looked at the menu.

The gentleman was dressed neatly in a suit.

The suit, which was half white and half black, made him look more like an artist with an artistic temperament rather than an intellectual.

“A date, I presume? Haha, it seems I’m interrupting. My apologies. I couldn’t just pass by a familiar face.”

He politely removed his hat and bowed his head slightly.

Yoon Seol-hwa’s gaze turned fierce, and Han Jae-jung broke out in a cold sweat.

“Long time no see.”

As he said, it had indeed been a long time.

“Have you been well? I’ve been having a pleasant time.”

In the place where a human head should be, there sat a potted cactus.

It was a contradiction.

The one who had chosen seclusion had returned.

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