The Main Characters That Only I Know

Chapter 87:

Chapter 87

After parting ways with Yuhyun, Kwon Jia was immersed in fighting in the world of thoughts, where she reached a state of no-mind.

Kyaaak!

A monster that looked like a dried-up mummy with its whole body charred black. 

A hungry ghost that tried to devour everything in sight. 

It lunged at Kwon Jia, but in the blink of an eye, its head and body were split apart and fell to the ground.

The fallen hungry ghost quickly turned into a white lump of stories, some of which melted and scattered in the air, and some of which were absorbed into Kwon Jia’s body.

“Ugh. Whew.”

Kwon Jia wiped the sweat from her forehead and stabilized her breathing.

However, unlike her gradually calming body, her mind was still tangled up in confusion.

It was all because of that weird teller she saw this morning. 

She knew better than anyone that it was because of him, so she clenched her teeth and tightened her grip on her sword as she looked for the next prey.

The world of thoughts she was moving in was based on the lowest level of Yambuji, the story of Buddhism.

It was also called Agido, one of the three evil paths.

In such a place, Kwon Jia hunted down the hungry ghosts as if to shake off all her worries. 

But the more she cut off the necks of the hungry ghosts with her sword, the heavier her heart became, as if it was shackled.

Kwon Jia felt angry for no reason and gritted her teeth.

It was all his fault.

‘What the hell? How can a teller be active himself? I’ve never seen him before, so why did he suddenly appear?’

She had too many questions. 

She wanted to ask him a mountain of things right away. 

But what bothered her more than that was…

‘He knows something about me.’

Her intuition, which she gained through countless repeated lives, told her so.

The characteristic that was almost like a curse to her whispered to her subtly.

‘Should I kill him?’

It was a thought that stemmed from the characteristic of a regressor. 

Kwon Jia shook her head and shook off the thought. 

This regressor characteristic was something that would only be satisfied if she crushed everything that could harm her. 

But her nature was not so cruel or vicious.

She used reason to overcome the power of the characteristic and postponed her judgment.

‘I’ll watch him for now.’

She didn’t need to know who Kang Yuhyun, the teller, was. 

Anyway, compared to her repeated life, it wasn’t such a surprising thing.

‘He must have a reason for approaching me.’

Her repeated life was not always the same, but it never deviated from the big picture.

But the existence of Kang Yuhyun was enough to break that frame.

A teller who was not an ordinary person.

He had a huge value in this society, and he had a great impact on her.

Would he be a savior who would free her from this cursed cycle?

Or would he be an obstacle that would hinder her goal?

The result would surely be decided in a short time.

Kwon Jia muttered so and left her seat.

***

Sarak. Sarak.

In the quiet [Room of Observers], only the sound of turning pages echoed softly. 

Of course, it was a sound that only reached my ears.

I liked this part of reading books. 

The sound and touch of turning pages. 

And the new combinations of letters that unfolded on the next page. 

Sometimes a noisy sword would whine next to me, but I naturally ignored it and focused on the book.

By the time this whole process was over, it was already after sunset and night had come. The Room of Observers was in a subspace, but I could check the time through the monitor on the wall.

I closed the book I had read and placed it on top of a pile of books in one corner of the room.

‘I finally finished reading them.’

The number of books I brought was 67 in total. 

Of those, I only read 42 books.

It might sound strange to say ‘only’ after reading 42 books containing one person’s life in one day, but if I had to put it that way, it would be right.

Of the 67 books I brought, I read about 60 percent, which is 42 books. That means I didn’t read the remaining 25 books.

Was it because I didn’t have time? Was I busy?

No, that wasn’t it.

‘It’s the same as when I was with Galiaz or Satan. I can’t read those books right now.’

I knew it was because of the difference in rank, but it was still surprising. 

Even so, Kwon Jia was an individual and a human belonging to the lower world. 

It was quite a shock that I, who had risen to a decent agent, couldn’t read all the books she had.

Did it hurt my pride somehow?

On the other hand, it meant that Kwon Jia’s life far surpassed that of an ordinary person. 

Especially, the books that were locked so that I couldn’t read them properly must have contained important elements.

‘Is this the weight of life that a regressor has? The bookshelf itself was already emitting a light beyond gold. Maybe it has something to do with that.’

But there were things I gained.

Although it was very narrow as a sample, I learned a lot of facts through the 42 books I read.

The first thing I learned was that Kwon Jia’s mental state was on the edge of a cliff.

But then again, that was natural. 

The number of books alone was over a hundred, and if she repeated her life that many times, anyone would go crazy.

‘Her mental strength must have reached its limit. But is it because of her characteristic that she hasn’t lost her reason until now?’

I didn’t know what her purpose was, but she repeated her life hundreds of times for something. 

Now, her purpose was almost blurred, and she just acted like a machine.

The moment she ran out of will and purpose, this repeated life would become a curse that she couldn’t end, not an opportunity to restart.

‘Usually, the regressors in novels just do everything in two or three times. Even if this mixed world is influenced by the laws of novels, this part is merciless. Is this reality?’

Anyway, Kwon Jia’s condition was not good. 

She had lost a lot of motivation due to her long-repeated life, and she had difficulty in acting as a collector due to her distrust of humans and hatred of tellers.

‘Is it because of her characteristic as a regressor, or because she experienced something in the past? I still don’t know.’

I had to read more books to find out more, but there was a problem.

As I went back in chapters, more locks were applied and I couldn’t read anything properly.

This lock felt different from when I couldn’t read Galiaz’s book.

Galiaz’s golden book was too huge for me to touch, so I couldn’t read it, but Kwon Jia’s book felt like she desperately refused to show it to me.

‘I think there’s a separate condition for unlocking this lock, but I don’t know what it is.’

I still don’t know much about my ability. I don’t even know how I came to return, so how can I talk about my ability?

It’s not right to rely too much on my power in this state. 

In places where my power doesn’t reach, I have to persuade her with my own strength.

But there is hope.

It’s embarrassing to say it myself, but for Kwon Jia, I was that hope.

‘A singularity that never appeared in my repeated life. That was me. What if I were in her shoes? Surely, even if I pretended not to, I would be interested. It seemed like she only found out that I was a teller this time.’

The only thing that bothered me was, would she open her heart to me, who hated tellers and had a terrible distrust of people?

‘That… I’ll find out as I go along.’

As I got up from my seat, Baekryeon, who had been quiet, reacted.

[Hey. What’s up all of a sudden? You were sitting still like you were dead.]

“I’m done with what I had to do.”

[Oh. Is that so? And then?]

“Don’t be sarcastic. I’m sorry for leaving you alone. But don’t you think it’s good to have some time for reflection at times like this?”

[Reflection my ass! Hey! How long do you think I was stuck here without being able to say anything! If this is reflection, then I’m sick of it!]

“Oops.”

[Oops? Oops what?]

Baekryeon, who knew that he would lose if he argued with me, raised his hand first.

[Sigh. Fine, what can I say. I’m just a sword after all.]

“No, I’m sorry.”

[Forget it. So you’ve been thinking for a long time, you must have some answers by now. Did you find out anything?]

“Uh. Yeah. About the power she has.”

[The power she has? Did she have something like that?]

“Yeah. Because, she’s a regressor.”

[What?]

Baekryeon asked stupidly, as if he couldn’t believe my words. 

I explained it casually, as if it was nothing.

“And not just a few times. I don’t know the exact number, but it’s already over three digits. To exaggerate, she’s been dying and regressing like eating rice. Maybe if I pushed her harder, she would have used her ability to regress and tried some other way.”

[…It’s hard to follow the conversation. But I understand why you acted like that. A regressor. That’s a rare trait, isn’t it? It means starting over from the beginning even if you die. You must have been so shocked that you ran out of the cafe with your eyes rolling.]

“It’s not just a rare trait. It’s an ability that allows you to challenge again and again even if you fail. It’s a power that allows you to make information that others don’t know your own. Even if you lack basic talent, you can cover that up with regression trait.”

[Similar to you?]

“I can’t compare to her now, who’s the first one.”

[…How did you know that again?]

“A sense as a fellow regressor. And one of my abilities.”

[I see.]

Baekryeon didn’t ask any more questions.

It was enough to surprise him with what I had shown him. 

Now he wouldn’t be surprised by anything like this.

[But if she’s a regressor… That’s no joke. You said she died a lot. Can an ordinary person’s mind endure that?]

“They can’t endure it. It would be hard even if your mental strength was steel.”

Being a regressor may seem great, but in reality there is nothing more terrible than this. 

It may be nice to not die, but on the other hand it means you can’t die even if you want to.

What if you lived your best life and closed your eyes peacefully, only to start over from the beginning?

‘That’s not all.’

She must have gone through all kinds of hardships and seen things she shouldn’t have seen.

And what about the people she knew and got along with and became close to? 

The moment she regressed, all those relationships were reset.

How would it feel if your friend or lover didn’t recognize you the next time?

“She must be protected by some effects of the regression trait itself, judging by her speech and behavior. She still seems sane, so.”

[If that doesn’t last… Isn’t she a ticking bomb? She seems very dangerous. If she snaps, she might go berserk.]

Baekryeon’s worry was natural, but I waved my hand and said it was okay.

“On the contrary, if she’s still sane after hundreds of times, it means she can stay sane in the future too. Of course there must be a limit, but if it’s not now… If I do my best to take care of her, I can change her.”

[You’re surprisingly confident.]

Of course I am.

I’ve met all kinds of people in my previous life. 

More than anything, I’ve been with a person who was like a walking bomb with no social skills for almost 10 years, so Kwon Jia is like an angel.

Rather, it would be fun to work with a regressor, I even felt excited.

“Let’s wait and see.”

[Yu-Hyun… Your expression looks a bit perverted right now.]

“Hey.”