The Extra Wants To Live

"To Carl."

That first sentence alone was so painful that Carl felt like he was about to burst into tears.

Carl, who treasured the numerous letters exchanged with Lilly, could sense the fear in his mother's handwriting.

"Spring has come again to Himmeln.

The weather has gotten warmer, so I went out for a walk this morning for the first time in a while, and there were already pretty flowers in bloom in the garden.

As I looked at the spring flowers in bloom, I thought of the dried flowers that Carl had given me as a gift.

Master Carl told me to go and look at the flowers until they bloomed so I wouldn't get bored, but the spring flowers were so pretty and lovely that I couldn't turn away from them, so I went back to my room and looked at them even more."

The writing, which clearly showed an effort to write as usual, was filled with, as always, concern and love for Carl.

"Still, it wasn't that I just hated the fresh, newly bloomed flowers.

When I saw Carl again after a year, he seemed to have bloomed more beautifully than those spring flowers.

If the dried flowers that Carl gave me were me, then Carl would definitely be spring flowers in full bloom.

The reason dried flowers are lovely is because they contain feelings for someone. And the reason spring flowers are lovely is because they are beautiful in their own right."

The fear felt in Lilly's handwriting gradually disappeared, the trembling subsided, and she whispered words of love to Carl as calmly and affectionately as usual.

"Seeing the flowers blooming reminds me of the day I first met Carl.

When I carefully held the baby that Viole had given me in my arms, I was embarrassed and burst into tears.

In fact, it wasn't because I was happy or joyful; it was because I thought I would never be able to hold such a lovely being in my arms."

Lilly had entered the palace as Violet's maid.

She was probably the lowest-ranking woman in the palace.

Diana, like Lilly, was a woman of the Felt family and had given birth to a prince, but with Aric already prominent, she could not receive the same treatment as other empresses.

Lilly, Diana's maid, had no power or status.

Lilly, who was confined to this palace for the rest of her life, would never have been able to marry, and in reality, she would have had to live as if she did not exist, like a ghost.

Lilly's departure from the palace would only happen when she was dead and a corpse.

She was not allowed to love anyone or have children.

"After Diana passed away, I really didn't know what to do.

I was not allowed to leave the palace, and there was nothing I could do there.

I felt like a living doll.

If Carl hadn't caught me back then, I probably would've given up on everything.

Caring for the sick Carl brought me additional pain. However, Carl, who was struggling to live, was my only hope."

The Carl of that time was not the Carl of now.

He was a frightened child slowly moving towards his imminent death.

Carl coveted the love that Lilly had given him.

He lost everything in less than two years and spent most of that time away from Lilly.

Sixteen years.

Lilly loved the dying Carl for a long time, like watering a dead sprout.

The love he received in less than two years was so overwhelming that it seemed like it would overflow, but did Carl ever repay Lilly's love even a little bit back then?

Did he ever give even the smallest, most insignificant joy to his mother, whom he loved so much?

"I remember when Carl got up from his illness.

I felt as if I had been saved by God. I felt as if I alone was receiving the light of the whole world.

That's still the case today.

Everything is unbearably beautiful, and even the smallest sound becomes a joy and delight.

Carl has been the joy of my life and the happiness of my life.

You became the light that called my name as I withered away and disappeared alone.

My God was in Carl, and my wish was also in Carl.

That's how I lived."

Carl wiped his face with his sleeve like a child, fearing that the tears that ran down his cheeks and clung to the tip of his chin would stain his mother's letter.

Carl wanted to tell Lilly, his mother, that it was the same for him too.

He wanted to say that he was able to become a tree that took root and grew in this world thanks to his mother.

It's all thanks to the overflowing love his mother gave him.

But now the mother who would listen to those words is too far away.

No matter how much he talked, no matter how much he shouted, no matter how much he cried and pleaded, his words were not conveyed.

He didn't know what to do as he kept wiping away the tears that kept falling.

But just as the thread on the envelope broke, something gently took its place and wiped it away.

Shadows gently swept their fingertips over Carl's face, which was shining white in the twinkling starlight.

Orten, who had been looking at the back of Carl, who was kneeling in front of his mother and reading her letter, had already left the room.

"I was just a nameless, withering weed.

But only when Carl saw me and called me, I was able to become a flower.

Even though I had already dried up, I was still clearly a flower.

That's why even the times I was sick could become a joy to me.

I was a flower that bloomed to bear fruit that would grow into the largest tree in the world."

Carl's trembling hands fumbled with the letter.

He loved the happy words of a mother who said her final goodbye with a joyful smile, knowing that she would soon be a flower that would wither, so much so that it all hurt unbearably.

"Thanks to Carl coming, I was able to achieve almost everything I dreamed of.

The only regret is that we won't be able to see Carl fall in love with someone, start a family, and have children.

If only I could hold Carl's child in my arms, I would feel a happiness that not even God could take away from me.

Surely you will meet a beautiful and kind lady who will love you, Carl.

Because Carl is the most wonderful, wonderful person in this world, and although I shouldn't dare to have such feelings for him, he is the person I am most proud of."

Lilly wanted Carl to get married as soon as possible.

After being confined to this cramped room for sixteen years, Carl wanted to go out into the wide world, make his presence known, and establish himself firmly.

She hoped that Carl, who had fulfilled her longed-for dream, would enjoy the same joy of being with her family as she did.

So, she always made sure Carl had his clothes neat, his hair tidy, and a nice scarf wrapped around him.

"I wanted to include more, but it's time to go to bed now.

The stars are so twinkling and beautiful tonight, it's like they're waiting for me.

It's such a warm light that it makes me smile happily all the time.

I wonder if Mr. Carl is also looking at the star-filled night sky like me?

I plan to fall asleep holding the lovely dried flowers that Carl gave me in his arms.

When you look up at this sweet, starry night sky, I would be very happy if you could remember this lovely flower, even though it has withered, not too often.

It's so late at night.

I will go to sleep today praying for Carl's safe return. And I will continue to wait for Carl, no matter how long.

You don't have to come too early. Even this time of waiting for Carl is happiness to me.

You should always be healthy and happy.

Of course.

I will end here, slowly drawing closer to the day we will meet again.

Good night, Carl."

There is a straight line drawn across the text that says 'Lilly,' and underneath it is a line written shyly, as if a little embarrassed.

"With love, your Lilly."

Carl cried and buried his face in the bed.

He staggered out of bed and cried into his mother's cold chest.

No voice came out.

Only tears flowed endlessly, dripping down and wetting the clothes he had given his mother.

Carl's body trembled as he clung to his mother's cold form, his tears soaking into the fabric of the dress he had chosen for her.

The room, once filled with the warmth of Lilly's presence, now felt like a hollow shell, echoing the pain of Carl's heart.