Re:life with Karmic Gacha (Modern Family)

Chapter 325: Chapter 325: New Year Party Concert- NYPC (1)

[Edward POV]

"Ouch," Haley whined softly as she sat next to me in the car. "Does it still hurt?" I asked gently as I looked at her with concern.

Haley pouted adorably, displaying her slightly reddish finger. "It does."

A splinter had lodged itself in her finger while she seductively cradled the baseball bat at the batting cage. She placed it between her thighs at that time and moved her hips back and forth. It was lucky that no splinter was lodged there and only her finger was affected.

"Blow on it again?" She batted her eyes at me, bringing her finger near my lips. I smiled, took her right hand in my left, and slowly blew on her finger as I drove up the hill.

Behind us, Max and Vanessa were horrified, rendered speechless by our exaggerated, sexually charged, flirtatious antics during the drive. After just five minutes, they seemed at a loss for words and they just stared at us with disbelief.

As soon as the car stopped, Vanessa and Max rushed out, eager to escape. I turned to call after them, but they were already gone. 30 guards, dressed in black suits, stood in front of the mansion as part of the security, and they made way for us.

"See you inside, Ed," Vanessa said, her tone laced with embarrassment. Max grinned, joking, "Can you believe them? Even I got turned on. I think I'll have to make sure not to push down a waiter on the bed before the event starts."

"That's quite rude. They didn't even thank you," Haley grumbled, maintaining her adorable demeanor as we exited the car. "Maybe they really needed to use the bathroom?" I guessed then turned my attention back to Haley, ignoring the others.

"I still can't believe you managed to fit an entire dress inside your tiny purse," I marveled with some disbelief as she twirled playfully, showcasing her stunning outfit with a stunning smile.

Her long, strapless black dress hugged her curves perfectly, the bow detail at her chest adding a touch of elegance while lifting her bosom. With each confident step in her black high heels, her hips swayed enticingly.

"Is this house similar to what yours is going to look like?" Haley asked as we arrived at the venue. Her golden mascara highlighted her expressive eyes, her face framed by her wavy brown locks, her dark red lipstick completed the sultry look. Haley's mole in the upper right lip added on to her appearance tonight.

"It does a little bit." I said as I stood next to her and raised my hand slightly, "Shall we go inside Milady?"

"Yes My Prince." She added gleefully before she took my arm. The gentleman offers his arm, the right one to be specific, with the elbow bent. The lady then delicately puts her hand under his arm and curls the hand back over it.

We entered the mansion acting as if we were the owner of the place. As we walked by, some of the staff actually stopped what they were doing and waved. We didn't spend much time indoor and walked straight away to the outdoor area.

At around 3 PM, the outdoor dining area was a serene blend of rustic charm and sophisticated elegance, softly illuminated by the afternoon sun. A classical musician played gentle instrumental pieces, creating a soothing backdrop as a handful of early guests mingled, sipping on champagne and enjoying light hors d'oeuvres. There were already a lot of people there, standing at the standing desk, drinking champagne and talking with each other while in a good mood.

The neatly arranged tables, adorned with white linens and delicate floral centerpieces. Staff members moved among the guests, making last-minute adjustments and preparing for the party.

"Pepper!" I waved to him as he was directing some people. His face brightened when he saw me, but traces of concern and tiredness lingered. "Edward! You're early! WHY?! Why are you here early?!"

I was slightly taken aback by his sudden questions, especially when he grabbed both of my biceps and shook me slightly.

"Also, Haley, dear, amazing dress! You look incredibly stunning." He turned to her with a smile. Haley giggled and replied, "Aww, Thank you! Ed bought it for me."

"Um, is there something wrong with coming early?" I asked hesitantly, forcing an awkward smile.

Renaldo interjected, explaining the situation to me, "People coming early to a party is a sign that the party won't go very well. Only losers will come to a party early."

The programmers and other employees who were within earshot were startled and they lowered their heads in depression.

My eyes darted around in confusion before I said to Pepper, "But I'm one of the organizers. So that doesn't count, right?"

"It counts!" Pepper, Renaldo, Caroline, Max, and several other staff members shouted in unison.

"Jeez." I groaned in disbelief before saying, "Alright then. Haley and I will stay in our room for several more hours until it's late enough for us to join the party."

"And go change your clothes too!" Pepper shouted irritably, then walked away before making a U-turn to return to his original position.

"What?" I asked, confused.

His tone shifted to a friendlier one as he asked, "Forgot to ask you about your date? How did it go?"

Haley and I exchanged glances before I replied with a smile, "It went well. Maybe there will be a second date? I don't know yet, depending on whether she takes my call after this."

Haley grimaced in confusion as she looked at me. "We already had our second date."

"We had?" I stared at her, puzzled. "You had?" Pepper seemed just as confused.

Haley started counting on her fingers. "We went to the batting cage; that was the first date. Then we had a lunch date, which was the second date. New Year's Eve will be our third date. And you know what people do on their first date?" She looked at me suggestively.

"Learn math again so we can count properly?" I teased. Pepper chimed in, "Oh girl, you're thirsty. A little advice: don't seem too desperate. It'll give him all the power."

Haley looked startled and hesitantly glanced at me before whispering to Pepper, "Did I seem that desperate?"

"Peps, I have something for the party in my car." I quickly changed the subject. Pepper turned to me slowly and asked, "What is it?"

"My last bottles of Euphoria," I said casually. "Offer them to the VIPs."

Pepper nodded in understanding. "Alright. Give it to one of the staff—You there, waiter!" he called out to a blonde waitress who, by sheer coincidence, was the disguised Agent Sarah Walker.

Sarah looked startled and approached us casually, maintaining her persona. "What can I do for you, sir?" she asked politely, casting a wary glance at me.

I didn't intend to expose her disguise; however, someone else knew about her. Haley scrutinized Sarah's face with narrowed eyes before she guessed, "Wait. Aren't you the frozen yogurt vendor—slash—CIA agent who broke into Edward's house before?"

"WHAT?!" Pepper exclaimed, stepping back and hiding me behind his body. "Security!" he yelled. Nôv(el)B\\jnn

"Um, Mr. Saltzman—" Sarah started to explain, but I spoke for her. "Peps, I told her to come here. It's fine."

"Hey, Chuck is here too." Haley waved innocently at Chuck while a security member tried to encircle us. I stopped them immediately and said, "Everyone, stand down. It's fine. It's just a joke."

With a heavy sigh, I turned to Pepper and said, "She's not a bad guy. Calm down, Pepper. You look like a scared chihuahua, shivering all over."

After I explained the situation to Pepper, he finally relaxed and agreed to turn a blind eye to the agents working undercover. For one thing, they would perform more skillfully than everyone else, so Pepper decided to use them to the fullest while only paying them minimum wage for their efforts.

...

"Here is your room." Caroline grinned widely as she led both Haley and me to the master bedroom.

Max followed along, her eyes widening in amazement as she took in the grandeur of the space. "This room is bigger than my entire apartment!" She walked inside first before me and her eyes sparkled with excitement as she began to run around the room, bringing Vader with her.

The master bedroom was a stunning blend of Victorian elegance and modern luxury. Ornate moldings adorned the high ceilings, and rich, dark wood furniture complemented the lush, deep red drapes that framed the tall windows.

On top of the bed, a huge painting of an old man with a handlebar mustache dressed in Victorian era dress was hung. It was creepy.

"Look! There's a jacuzzi in the middle of the living room too!" Haley exclaimed, pointing excitedly at the heart-shaped jacuzzi situated against a backdrop of intricate stained glass windows. Max dashed toward the bathroom and gasped, "Oh no way! They even have a sauna inside the room! I call first dibs."

Caroline laughed giddily and said, "Yeah, it's amazing, right? The mansion was featured once in Architectural Digest, and I have a connection with the owner. He's a flirty old man who wants to make me his ninth wife now that I lost all my wealth, but we'll get there when we get there."

I nodded slightly, my eyes wandering across the room as I commented to Caroline, "That is one way to get your status back."

"He's 94 years old," Caroline muttered with an awkward smile. "And he has dementia."

"I mean, it won't be that bad; I don't think he can even... you know, get his dick up anymore." Max added with a teasing laugh.

"And he's into you, Caroline. Based on your dry spell for the last couple of months and the skyrocketing water bill for our apartment, can you really afford to be picky?" Max insinuated, elbowing Caroline playfully and cackling as she did.

Caroline turned red and bashful, stammering slightly as she turned to me, trying to defend herself. "There's a leak in the shower pipes—um, that's why the bills were so high."

"Oh, is that what happened?" I pretended to just now understand. "I thought you were... masturbating, which I realize might be presumptuous of me to assume, although enjoyable to imagine." I added, causing Caroline to look flabbergasted.

"She definitely was," Max corrected me, smirking. "No doubt about it." Haley nodded in agreement.

"S-stop!" Caroline whined, quickly changing the subject. "Fashion team, you can come in now. H-hurry..." The last word was a whispered plea, which made me burst out laughing.

Several men and women dressed in fashionable attire entered the room, pushing racks filled with various expensive outfits.

Haley's eyes glittered as she took in the array of evening gowns and sophisticated attire displayed on the racks. "Wait. Ed, what is this?"

"Is this what Pepper prepared for me?" I asked, disbelief evident in my tone. "How many outfits are there?"

"Two hundred..." Caroline tried to recall, but a sharply dressed man interjected, "Three hundred and sixty-seven. Hi, nice to meet you. My name is Jeremy."

"Hi. Edward." I shook hands with the man, who gleefully waved me off as he said, "I know who you are. I'm a big fan."

"Now, Jeremy, what do you have for me today? And why is the number more than the days in a year?" I asked with a teasing grin. Meanwhile, Haley approached the racks, scrutinizing the outfits.

Jeremy replied ceremoniously, "The fashion department has put together 350 options for your image; however, 17 more were sent over by some of LA's most prestigious fashion designers: Rick Owens, Jeremy Scott, Gavin Sinclair, Rodarte, etc."

"I guess the other 14 weren't famous enough for you to mention," I joked. Jeremy smiled wryly and confessed, "To be honest, I forgot the script. The women's outfits are prepared per your requests. It's all here."

The dresses served as a backup plan in case something went wrong. Haley noticed several dresses labeled 'Haley' and was flabbergasted. "You bought me dresses?" she asked, astonished.

"Oh yeah," I replied, remembering our earlier conversation. "That's just in case something happens and you ruin yours during the party. Being my date can be quite ... dangerous, you know? This is just a precaution."

Haley smiled and returned to the clothes, exclaiming, "Oh my god, it's so cute!" as she picked up a vibrant green dress.

Jeremy continued explaining the clothing options. "Maybe we could do an image revamp with more bold, playful designs, like this one." He pulled out a suit featuring a swan's head on the left shoulder and swim floats around the waist, earning a look of disgust from me.

"This is a joke, right?" I glared at Jeremy, making him sweat nervously. "No, this is an actual suit sent by the designer To—"

His sentence was abruptly interrupted. "Hey!" Haley exclaimed, gaining everyone's attention as she pulled an outfit from the rack. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she displayed the suit to everyone. Keeping her excitement in check, her voice trembled slightly as she asked, "Is this mine?"

The double-breasted suit with golden buttons and ornate embellishments caught my eye. "Yes, it is," I confirmed with a smile. It looked like something Sanji would wear, if he was ever thrown to Amazon Lily and his clothes were upgraded by the girls there.

Wait, let's not kid ourselves. If Sanji were thrown to Amazon Lily, he wouldn't ever make it until the timeskip.

"Oh, and there are also three outfits from the newbie designer, Haley Gwendolyn Dunphy," Jeremy added, breaking free from his momentary daze. "We received the design you sent us and created the final product."

Haley rushed and gave me an affectionate hug immediately after hearing that. "Edward! You did care about my designs!" She yelled in excitement, jumping up and down inside my embrace. "I thought you weren't interested in it since it's been so long since I gave it to you."

Jeremy interceded before I could, "Um, excuse– Sorry. Um, since there's no receipt, we didn't know where to send the receipt for the whole thing. That is until we know that you're his– friend?" He was confused at the last second, not knowing how to describe the nature of our relationship.

Haley and I glanced at each other, but we didn't correct him as we too didn't have an answer.

Jeremy left after telling me to pick out my outfit for the day and so did Caroline as they had to do some more work. Max went with them, taking Vader with her.

Before Caroline left, she ominously said, "There's a red button on the side of the bed. Don't ever, in any circumstances, press the button."

Haley and I were both dumbfounded when we heard it. I placed a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the front door and locked it. It wasn't for anything, I just don't want anyone to get in while I was changing my clothes.

"We have 6 hours to kill before the party. I could even take a nap." Haley pretended to be tired and sat on the bed. She considered laying down, but it would ruin her dress.

"I'm taking it off. I wore it wayyy too soon." She said as she began to unzip her dress. I grabbed a shirt from my wardrobe and threw it at her. "Wear this for now."

As I turned, her dress fell flat on the floor. I was stunned for a few seconds, realizing she was going commando beneath it. Haley grabbed the shirt midair and slowly began to put it on.

When she was finished, she turned to me with a teasing smile and asked, "What?"

"Nothing. Just that the shirt is also quite see-through." I grinned before shifting my attention to the rack of clothing.

"I'll give you the job of picking my outfits for the day—one for the concert and one for the party," I told her as she slipped a bathrobe over her shirt.

"And what will I get? If it's just your gratitude, then I'm not interested," she joked. I sat down on the bed next to her to rest for a bit. Then, we both glanced at the big red button at the same time.

"Is it wrong for me to want to push that button?" Haley asked.

"No, I feel the same impulse. If Caroline hadn't said anything, I wouldn't even care about it, but right now, it's all I can think about," I replied.

Haley began to speculate about what the button might do. "Maybe we're supposed to lie on the bed and push it, and then the bed will drop, revealing a hidden panic room."

"If it's a panic room, I doubt Caroline wouldn't tell us about it. No, I think it's far worse than that. Maybe it'll launch us out of the room?" I guessed.

"OOOHHH! Like a catapult?!" Haley exclaimed excitedly. "Or maybe it'll suck us into the wall, like into a secret vacuum tunnel that shoots us out of the house!" she added.

"The roof could open, and we'd be abducted by aliens for probing," I joked.

Haley laughed and then said, "Maybe a butler will come out from the walls."

"We'd gain 10 million dollars but lose 10 years of our lifespan," I guessed, posing like Rodin's Thinker.

"Fireworks?!" Haley suggested, her excitement growing.

"Launching a nuclear missile."

"Reviving Abraham Lincoln."

"Creating a zombie apocalypse."

We stared at each other, trying to hold back our laughter. Suddenly, Haley said, "Too bad we're never going to find out."

Without saying anything, I pressed the button.

Beep. A beeping sound echoed as the blinds fell, plunging the room into pitch blackness. A deep, bassy voice came through the speakers: "OOOH YEAHH BABY!"

Sultry background music played, blue lights illuminated the room, and the jacuzzi turned on by itself, spotlights shining down on it.

"Oh, Baby~" the voice sang again. The ceiling opened, and over a thousand condoms of various colors rained down from the hole. Haley and I jumped up from the bed, staring in disbelief at the chaos unfolding.

"This is way worse than what we guessed," I commented.

"It's not too bad—" Before Haley could finish, the nightstand lifted as if it were an elevator, revealing a hidden compartment filled with sex toys, whips, gag balls, dildos, and an enormous supply of lubes and baby oils.

"It is worse," Haley immediately agreed with me. Although it was gross, the whole thing felt like a bizarre joke. Or so we thought.

Suddenly, a projector lit up, casting a video onto the wall. It was the 94-year-old Mr. Rosenblat, who began his recording by asking, "Is this thing on?" He took a few steps back, revealing himself in leather boots and leather underwear, holding a whip in one hand while remaining topless.

"Close it! Ed! Close it now!" Haley stammered anxiously. I grabbed a nearby vase and hurled it at the projector.

"EWWW EWWW EWWW GROSS!!!" Haley curled her fingers together as she cringed.

...

"I think washing our eyes for an hour is enough, right?" I asked Haley as we changed into a smaller room, devoid of any extra entertainment.

Haley grumbled, "We need Holy Water. I still feel unclean."

Time passed as we hung out in the room. The party started at 9 in the evening, but Pepper wouldn't let me make an appearance until 10. It was now 8:30 PM, and many guests had already arrived, making the entire outdoor area packed.

Jenna, Jacob, Enid, Alex, Finneas, Billie, Elsa, and Abraham were all here with their respective guardians, and we gathered together in the lounge area as we waited for the concert to start.

As I was shooting pool with Jacob, Vanessa quietly approached me. "Edward, can we speak in private?" She asked, her face a little pale. I was taken aback when I saw her and then agreed to her request, "Yeah. Let's talk."