Porn Star

Chapter 92: Bronze Porn Coins

"Hmph, I am no ordinary divine being! I am the soul avatar of the Porn System," proudly said the little Chibi.

"Huh? What? Soul avatar? What the hell is the Porn System?" asked Chuck feeling confused.

"Dimwit! Idiot! Fool! Why was I born from you?! Will I become a fool like you in the future?! Nooo!" the little Chibi is a complete drama queen, it held its head as it was completely exasperated over the inconceivable fact that it was created out of Chuck.

"Being sarcastic does not make you funny," grumpily replied the new fatso Chuck.

"Hmph, who said I was being sarcastic. I was merely stating a fact, you idiot! Baka!"

"I think you call me names because you don't know how to answer me. You are just trying to hide your own incompetence by just beating around the bush."

"Tsk. Do you think you are smart if you try to egg me into answering you? Blockhead! Moron! But I might as well tell you because you are too stupid to figure out any of this."

"Listen carefully, I know you have ugly fats for brains, but what to do, I'm created from you... uwwu" the Chibi fake sobbed completely exhausting the last vestiges of Chuck patience.

However, she stopped at the exact point when Chuck was about to flip the table, but what she did after that made Chuck wish that she should immediately get struck by a lightning on her mouth with her body paralyzed...

"I Soul Avatar! In Your Body! Spell Medium!... ummm... ano... Spell medium is Magic! You! Stupid! No Make Magic! I smart! Make magic!"

The chibi explained Chuck as if he is an idiot deaf foreign tourist, exaggeratedly pointing hands, making actions. The worst of all she used short phrases like she is talking to an illiterate. 

Chuck almost blew a gasket at being treated like a dimwit fool To make his displeasure known, he fiercely glared at her. But the little Chibi thought that Chuck is making an ugly face because he could not understand her.

"From your face, I can guess that what I explained is too high-level for you," then she started talking to herself aloud, "hmm, how do I dumb it down even more? Even a two-year-old can understand what I said. Ewelina said that he is an old bastard. Was he one of those old senile fools who couldn't tell the difference between bathroom and living room?" saying that out loud, the Chibi looked at Chuck with pity.

"I UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU SAID!" screamed out Chuck, his face was completely flushed red with seething anger. A few more phrases and Chuck would have threw up blood.

"Ahh! Good Good! I could not think of a more dumber way to explain things," the Chibi fake wiped off the sweat from its forehead.

"So what magic you make?" grumpily asked Chuck.

"Technically, those are divine spells. The spell medium is similar to a grimoire. But let's call the spell effect as magic and the grimoire as a system because for the level of your intelligence, big words will be hard to remember." said the Chibi in all seriousness.

Thought Chuck was irked by Chibi's evaluation of his intelligence, he was more interested in those divine spells, because they are the critical element in fixing his condition.

"What sort of spells are you capable of?"

"Hmph, you want to gauge the limits of my ability? For an unimaginative fool like you, my abilities may as well let you see how amazing are the divine beings."

"I can make you strong! I can make you fast! Hard, but I can make you look less disgusting! Very hard, but I can even make you less dumb! Healing spells are inscribed in me as a final life-saving means for the dumb you. I can cast heals from the basic heals to even God-level healing. Similarly, elemental control and formations are inscribed at a basic level. Though not very efficient, I can cast spells to alter the environment to your advantage."

When Chuck heard all this, he forgave the chibi for all its past transgressions and was giddy with happiness.

"Hahaha, I never thought the Goddess will be this generous with me! I am like an invincible OP character in a web novel!"

The chibi calmly looked at chuck who almost had his mouth torn from smiling, "you think I am calling you an idiot because I am a Tsundere character, right?"

Chuck complacently patted the head of the gargoyle chibi.

"hehe, everyone expresses their affection in their own way, some are too shy to speak out their hearts. It's okay, I understand," said Chuck with a kind smile that will put Dalay-Lhama to shame.

"Understand my a*s! You idiot! Baka! Were you jerking off when the goddess spoke to you? Didn't she tell you that a living spell will need Porn energy? You nincompoop! What invincible on the planet? Did you think some OP gift will fall on your big fat butt and suddenly turn you from trash to treasure?" the chibi held its little head and squatted down depressed at having its fate tied to Chuck.

This time, even Chuck felt embarrassed, he really jumped the gun and thought he is some protagonist in some novel who is going to have meat pies fall from the sky every time he yawns.

"Hey now come on, don't give up on me. Won't I generate porn energy when I am in the vicinity of lewd acts? Didn't I make some porn energy when I seduced the doctor?"

"Mmm, yes, your deplorable character as a lecher did let you earn some energy by taking advantage of a desperate old woman. Your sickening tactics did work. The wretchedness..."

"Enough enough! The point is I'm not all bad. So how much energy do I need to fix it?"

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"Fix what?"

"You know..."

The chibi dumbly tilted her head saying, "I don't know."

"Grr, to fix my ED, how much energy do I need?"

"Oh! to get back your currently non-existent dignity as a man, you will need least need a god-level body heal, which will need lots and lots of porn energy. Even if you could amass so much porn energy, I don't think your body or my spell medium could bear such burden."

"Huh?! What the F*ck! I couldn't get hard?"

"Idiot! Baka! I said that to fix your ED it takes a whole lot of porn energy, but to get you hard is not impossible."

"Oh! sorry sorry! I should have asked. So how much energy do I need?"

"Hmmm, it is complicated to explain. The intensity of emotions affects the purity of the energy they effuse. A harvest of hundred people with casual thoughts can be easily equaled by a pious prayer of a fanatic. This is the reason why the most faithful are always favored by the gods."

"Only the purest energy of the respective form will be able to fire up a divine spell. Every divine spell consists of inscriptions, the simplest to the most complex spell all are made up of inscriptions, the only difference is the volume and complexity. Do you understand me so far?"

This time Chuck truly had the face of the dumb high school jock who is having a geek conversation with the science nerd of the class.

"...ummm...ahem.. you really are smart..." Chuck gave the chibi a thumbs-up being all stary eyed.

[Sigh] "So you don't understand?"

Chuck kowtowed down, "Shamelessly agrees!"

[Sigh]"At the moment, low-level spells are the one that is suitable to you, so the be it bigger or smaller spells, all will only have a change in the volume of inscription. The porn energy required to light up one inscription can be the standard 1 unit of porn energy. We shall call this unit as porn coins and since the energy is used to cast low-level spells. Let us call the units of energy as Bronze Porn Coins."

"Oh! Bronze Porn Coins! I like it! So how much I made it out of the doctor?"

"Cheh, spoken like a true man-wh*re. You made 15 coins out of the doctor."

"Wow, that easy?!" Chuck completely ignored the disgust coming from the eyes of the little soul avatar, as he started to immerse himself in the fantasy of being rich with porn coins, grinning like an idiot.

"Idiots are easily fascinated," muttered the chibi gargoyle as she let out an exasperated sigh at the sight of its owner who is lost in his own fantasy.

[Sigh] "Simpleton! Fool!"

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