Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)

848. Puritas

Nor was the phenomenon exclusive to the Impuritas stationed in Frontier.

Mae’s voice refused to come out ever since the Icon of Judgement had transformed into what she could only describe as an Angel. Moses reveled at the sight, whereas Deiman, Autumn and Mozheart watched as though the world was ending.

No amount of time could acclimate them to the glory of what Moses called:

“A Star. Like the silhouettes beyond the sea. People thought they were mad when they tried to warn of what forlorn sights lurked at the horizon…” There was no greater honor than to bask in the light of a Star belonging to the Nexus.

Her voice then faded as quickly as she began to speak.

The utter awe she held towards the Light further entrenched her loyalty to the Nexus. Iron Stars had been waiting for the day that they gained a Star of their own. The Amalgam was the first true Star they considered, hence their return to the Nexus.

The purple-haired Mae raised her hand towards the light as the white wave passed over them.

She expected the wave to throw her back. But to her surprise –

“It’s warm?”

– She was greeted by a sensation she had never felt before. She imagined this was what it would feel to be hugged, but every memory of an embrace was associated with either pain or death. She couldn’t imagine holding someone without nefarious intentions.

She suddenly recalled the type of life she was born into. Mae was an Impuritas from birth. Things that people took for granted were world-changing experiences for her. A small, illusionary hug was one of those.

She didn’t know why these thoughts filled her head.

Something about the light that caused her to reflect upon herself. Mozheart was no different. They were the only ones whose gazes were drawn deep within as they were entranced by the light

However, it was only Mae whose body had faint, white particles of light emanate from.

“Huh…?” The tone that left her lips was melodic. She didn’t intend to sing, but her voice was naturally pleasant to listen to.

“Mae!?” Autumn cried, watching as her dark horn-like ears shrunk into tiny stubs. “You’re transforming? She’s – She’s not going to become one of those monsters, is she!?”

“Let’s find out.” Moses smiled.

“I-It’s ok! I think!” Mae shouted, reaching up to the side of her head where she felt a pair of fleshy flaps. “Ears? Pointy? Did I become an Elf? It’s like when I ate the Seed…”

It scared her. She had transformed into something else before and it resulted in her being pursued by those she thought she could trust. Furthermore, it caused the people who were just like her to turn their backs on her, such as Mozheart and his Virtuosos.

“… am I being something I’m not again? I thought it was ok to be like this…”

“Mae –?”

“Wait – don’t come close!” Mae retreated from Autumn.

Would Deiman and Autumn abandon her like the Maestros of Flesh? Would the Amalgam also come to despise her? She was afraid to know. No matter how warm the sensation was, her fears greatly outweighed her optimism. Pessimistic thoughts were all that filled her head as she curled her hands to her chest, feeling her heart ache with an unusual pain.

Suddenly, a hand plopped onto her head.

It was Deiman.

“Your eyes. Your pupils are glowing. It’s beautiful.” Indeed, her musical note-shaped pupils glowed with a reflective white-purple sheen.

Her irises were also brighter as though containing more life compared to the Mae just seconds ago.

“… Don’t lie to me…” Mae’s voice trailed off.

Deiman wasn’t lying.

She didn’t have to look at him to know this. She had spent enough time with these two to know that Deiman didn’t tend to decorate his words. He was as blunt as a hammer, and she couldn’t recall a time when he had lied.

“I don’t like showing this side of me. I didn’t even know it was possible to feel like there’s a weight holding you down. I don’t know why I’m allowed to feel like this. I’ve killed so many innocent people to make music. That was my happiness for as long as I can remember…”

He stared intently into her eyes. Awe filled his eyes rather than fear, whereas Autumn’s eyes watered with concern.

“… Why does it feel like I’ve been accepted despite everything I’ve done?” Mae felt like there was a catch to this.

There always was.

But Moses didn’t seem to care the slightest. Rather, she was proud of the fact that Mae had transformed whilst Mozheart did not.

“The Nexus has its ways of redeeming people. Archetypes will have a criteria of their own too. Impuritas are not entirely unredeemable. I’ve met many a different kind of Impuritas across my travels. Artisans. Artists. Weavers. Illuminators. Luthiers. Playwrights. Calligraphers. Minstrels… Each had their own redeeming qualities.”

She hummed the same song that Mae had sung for the Nexus as she sat herself along one of the short walls and gazed upon the Nexus.

“Impuritas are not out of reach. Ateliers of the Nexus hire them a plenty. The Nexus itself and the Beholder owe their knowledge to Impuritas. Listen well. Listen close. Whenever you feel lost or lose your way, recall these words I am about to recite to you.”

Mae heeded her well, as did the rest. A long minute of silence passed before she finally spoke again:

“There existed a subset of beings in this world who lived solely for the sake of living. Purposeless phantoms that roamed the world like specters.”

Her purple eyes sparkled in the light of the Nexus.

To her, it shone as brightly as the Arbiter.

“One day, they were given a choice to follow a star. Unscalable plateaus were climbed. Unforgiving seas were crossed. Untraversable terrain were blazed. Impossible foes were slain. Some journeys took those beings decades. Others spend hundreds of years. Few spent longer – long before the Advents and the Beholders came to be. Those of which remember those ancient of days, following that star.”

Moses sealed her eyes and smiled with nostalgia.

“Unbeknownst to them was it gradually gave them a purpose to live other than for the sake of it. The inherent nihilism died out, giving birth to new fragments that hoped to one day shine as brightly. Slowly, surely, ever certain – that light had taken them on a path of redemption and to an epiphany that brought them closer. Whether those beings are forgivable now is up to interpretation. How many millions… billions were banished. How long did they spend deprived of the star’s light?”

No one knew who she was referring to. But Deiman seemed to realize that she was likely talking about herself.

“Have I lost you? Be glad that I did not ramble in your ears for the next five years.” She did not mean this figuratively. “What I mean to convey is that redemption is not easy. Self-acclaimed redemption is the hardest of them all. But when that redemption comes others, then you should not dismiss that. You are on the right path. The Gods of the Nexus has, after all, absolved you of your past wrongs. It will be up to you to decide how you forgive yourself.”

Slowly, Autumn gathered by the two and reached to touch a long bundle of hair that did not previously exist on Mae’s head.

“… What the Star said. Being unable to forgive yourself is normal. I was able to get through by disassociating myself from Demi-Humans…” Autumn suddenly wore an annoyed expression. “Then Deiman came along. And then…”

She turned red for a moment as she stroked Mae’s hair.

Two long strips of hair ran down the sides of Mae’s head. They curled up to create the complex shape of a treble clef. And above her head were two large cowlicks that took the form of a hairpin: the symbol of a crescendo.

The ex-Maestro flinched, fearing that Autumn might come to dislike her if she touched her. However, Autumn’s face eventually mellowed into a rare, unseen smile.

“Besides, did you forget that we came all the way here just for you? Deiman also transformed, you know? That hasn’t changed how I see him. We’ve all done terrible things. I’m not innocent either. I probably wouldn’t pass the Justicia Test at all. Hmm. Mae… We’re not going to leave you.”

She suddenly threw her arms around Mae’s neck, pulling the small woman into her chest.

Mae’s eyes watered as she slowly raised her hands to Autumn’s back. She hesitated until Deiman whispered:

“You helped us when you could’ve ran away. Isn’t that enough?”

“So stupid…” Mae’s hands eventually tugged on Autum’s dress, and for the firs time, she experienced what a hug was supposed to be like.

It was warm like the light. She didn’t want it to end.

“… such a juvenile, flawed way of thinking. I can’t use the excuse of not knowing better, because it doesn’t change what I’ve done. But… little by little… I’ll try… to make up for it… Tch… If I wasn’t born as a Maestro…”

“No one in this world has the luxury to choose who or where they’re born.” Moses announced. “Such is the tragedy of living. Our experiences, prejudices, beliefs – they’re all carved by own world, and, by hearts unbelonging to us.”

Autumn and Deiman embraced Mae as she sobbed into their chests. Forgiveness was as painful as being blamed as Mae found out. The scene left Moses and Mozheart alone as they both gazed upon the Arbiter.

“… Were those words meant for me to hear as well?” He could not help but feel like this was the case.

“Believe what you wish. It does not change what you have heard and witnessed here. It will do you good to leave while you still have the chance. There are not many Moons and Stars who would give up the opportunity to eliminate a Maestro.”

It was strange. Mozheart tried to read the Iron Star but to no avail. Her smile did not even appear like a smile to him. Malevolence oozed from that cold, calculating grin. It was clear that despite the words she had said, she did not care whether Mae had taken them to heart.

She merely gave advice for the sake of it, as if by instinct.

“Why have you allowed me to live?” He carefully questioned.

“Redemption comes in many forms. However, I doubt even you can be granted penance.”

“… then why?”

Moses’ eyes glowed a bright purple as she lifted a finger. Light formed as she brought it to the skies, attempting to join it with the distant light in a juvenile manner.

“Have you heard of the proverbial phrase: ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’? So childish, but its meaning holds value. Here especially~”

“There is no evidence that we will be betrayed.”

“It will be too late for you by the time that evidence does arrive~” Moses pleasantly hummed. “It is not just the Brightest Star you will need to worry about. Your failure here will be an excuse for them to act.”

“That shall be mine to decide.” Mozheart refused to hear another word from her as he took out an Etched Coin.

However, as expected, he had his doubts. Mae’s warning was not done to rejoin them. She sincerely delivered this warning despite the risk of her losing her life…

“That girl cared about us more than we ever did for her.” He said and retrieved a second Etched Coin. “For you, Iron Star.”

He hurled it at her.

“Oh~” Her hand was already positioned precisely where it would be thrown. “The fabled Etched Coin~ Linked with a Hyperlink spell, no doubt.”

“Indeed. Should this so called ploy be correct, then there will be a reason for us to make contact. Keep that Coin somewhere spacious.”

“Are you not afraid that we could launch a counter attack into the heart of your operations?”

“You would not have mentioned it if that were the case.” Mozheart said, although, he was unsure if this logic applied to this Iron Star. “It will be our lifeline, and the deed will be paid in full should we survive.”

Moses deeply inhaled with a satisfied grin. When she exhaled, she slipped the Coin away into a pocket. She was not stupid enough to store it within her Dimensional Storage.

“The Nexus looks forward to your contributions.”

“Only if this turns out to be true. Otherwise…”

“Otherwise~?” Moses chuckled.

It was not a chuckle of laughter. It was one of superiority, like how one would find amusement in the futile efforts of an insect attempting to avoid being crushed by the sole of one’s boot.

The Impuritas who witnessed the events here in Grandis could no longer deny the power of the Nexus. They would have to be insane to attempt to confront them directly after their failure.

“… The Nexus is not the only thing loved by the Amalgam. You must know that well.”

“Her heart is unfortunately larger than most. The Bellum Empire would have ceased to exist if we were allowed to banish it into the Subderma.” Moses eyes glowed dangerously as a broken halo formed on her head. “It would be better if our Amalgam was solely ours, but alas, even the sun and moon rise and sets for the world.”

The supermoon of Perigian Night had sunk half-way down into the horizon. The pink glow of dawn had arrived from beyond the coast. It was nearly morning.

With that said, Mozheart disappeared, leaving Moses behind to ruminate.

“The next time we do meet – be it you or the Impuritas – will decide which of us shall remain.”

She prophesied with absolute certainty.

“Puritas.” A hopeful Deiman announced. “The Blessing doesn’t describe you as an impurity anymore!”

“Is that a good thing?” Autumn whispered.

“Any sign that differentiates one from the Impuritas is a good one. It won’t be long now till the night is over. Answers will come soon enough.”

---