Naruto: The Prince of Lust

"Quit hanging all over me, brat!" At the ruckus created around the woman's outdoor bath, it was inevitable screams and cries of peeping interrupt them. Laughing throughout the ride, Naruto doesn't let go as Jiraiya speeds away. The elder shinobi sprints with the vigor of a youthful man as he escapes the bath's security through the busy streets of Konoha, leaping from building to building with practiced ease. Once they were safe in a nearby park hidden by a thicket of trees, Jiraiya finally manages to pull Naruto off and hold him up by the white collar of his orange jumpsuit.

It's the first time Naruto's seen his father's sensei up close and thinks the red lines under his eyes that extend down his face like blood-tears is really cool. Naruto expected the horned-forehead protector to be etched with the Konoha leaf symbol rather than the word, oil. Overjoyed to see him, Naruto happily caterwauls, "you owe us a looooot of presents!"

"See what you've done… whoever you are," Jiraiya yowls at the blond. "You've jeopardized my valuable research!"

Laughing, Naruto corrects, "you mean your peeping? I can't believe you really do that!"

"Can't believe-" Jiraiya starts to repeat when he realizes a more important thread to argue. "That's a complete misrepresentation of my art!"

Hanging by his collar, the jovial Naruto remarks, "your art is going to put you on a watch-list if you don't stop."

Unceremoniously dropping Naruto on the earthy park ground, Jiraiya proclaims, "that's never stopped me before. And a young fool like you is incapable of comprehending how amazing the adult world is."

"Yeah I can," Naruto protests.

"Ooh, is that so," Jiraiya mewls skeptically, scratching his chin. The elder walks around Naruto, inspecting the blond from top to bottom before sharing, "if that's true, then you've no doubt had the honor of discovering my amazing contribution to the world." He hops back, landing on one foot that produces an unexpected loud clacking noise with his wood-sandals. Sinking his hand into his red haori but doesn't pull it out right away as he yells like the ringleader of a carnival, "behold young one! All my diligent research has empowered me, Jiraiya the Gallant, to scribe the most accurate novel known to man, far and wide, the great, the amazing… Icha Icha Paradaisu!"

The orange book he pops out in his triumphant pose is instantly familiar to Naruto who yells with a pointed finger, "Ahh! I read that!"

"How-" Jiraiya gasps before realizing, "ho, ho! Young you may be, but you possess the energy of masculinity in you!"

"I didn't know that was your book," Naruto huffs, recalling the book in Kakashi's hands as well as the time he skimmed through it before Kurenai agreed to teach him.

Striking out his open palm, Jiraiya announces, "your adulation is unnecessary, shōnen!" Bringing his hands proudly on his hips, the elder specialist proclaims, "the long hours of research, the late nights filled with sake, gambling, and women; it's my divine calling to have all that fun for men everywhere! Looking in your eyes, I can see how amazed by my masterpiece you are-"

With squinted eyes, a bored Naruto flatly states, "not really."

As if wounded, Jiraiya grips his chest, wailing, "blasphemy! Sacrilege!"

"Wha," Naruto startles to sound, retorting, "it's not my fault your book doesn't work."

Waving away the blond critique, Jiraiya practically spits, "Bah! What would a child know!?"

Happy to take offense, Naruto calls back, "shut up! I know a lot!"

Shaking his head at the young, innocent, inexperienced child with a hint of sadness, Jiraiya pats Naruto on his shoulder, comforting him as consoles, "it's okay, shōnen, all men must begin somewhere. First, you're happy to discover your appetite for the elusive female temple, then reading about them further wets that gnawing hunger. Soon, you barricade yourself in your room, beating your tadpole all the way into your twenties. It happens to the best of us; nothing to be ashamed of."

Grossed, Naruto shrugs off the elder's hand, calling back, "tch, I don't need to do that!"

"Nonsense," Jiraiya asserts with confidence. "Everyone knows if you don't blow your bank every once in a while, you'll get so backed up, your ball-sack explodes."

"That's not true!"

"Is too-"

"Genin Uzumaki Naruto," they hear before a masked shinobi lands on the grass before them. Naruto can tell he's Ji-chan's guard as his masked teammates land behind him. Relaying their directive, the lead orders, "your presence has been requested by Sandaime-sama."

Slumping his shoulders in defeat, he asks, "can it wait?" Glancing at the white-haired sage, Naruto groans to the team, "I just found my Godfather."

Shocked, Jiraiya yells, "Godfather?!" Naruto wonders how long the old pervert is going to play this charade as the man retorts, "who said I was your Godfather?" Naruto snickers as he panics and spouts, "whoever she is, she's lying!"

"Uzumaki-kun," the masked Jōnin repeats with more authority, to which Naruto asks Jiraiya, "can't you come with me, Ero-sennin?"

"Ero!" The petulant adult crosses his arms as he huffs, "brats these days have no respect for their elders. You're welcome to take him, shinobi-san."

"Oh, come on," Naruto groans. "You can peep on women later so, so, won't you come with me now?"

"Genin, Uzumaki," the masked Jōnin repeats louder before adding, "our Hokage has requested your presence."

Struck with an obvious idea, Naruto crosses his fingers and calls out, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Twenty clones pop into existence before eighteen immediately dispel. When two Narutos remain, the one near the Anbu tells the clone, "you stay with Ero-sennin and make sure you don't lose him." The Anbu however, don't fall for it and strike the one who hasn't moved from beside Jiraiya. When his clone burst, Naruto whirls on the elite guard, yelling, "ahh! What the hell!"

"Genin, you've been given a direct order-"

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto chimes, waving him off before turning to the tall pervert and commanding him, "don't go anywhere!" His stern pointing lasts as long as he's able before Naruto leaps away with the team of elite guards. When Naruto leaves with the Anbu, a green frog on Jiraiya's scroll, hidden underneath his long spiky hair, hops off the rolled-up paper and pops back into a smirking Naruto. Turning to his godfather, Naruto remarks, "thanks for not telling them."

"I didn't do it for you," Jiraiya asserts. "I only thought to ask you a question and they were interrupting, is all."

Happy to hear, Naruto quickly asserts, "the answer's yes."

Hands on his hips, Jiraiya eyes Naruto skeptically as he replies, "you don't even know what I was going to ask."

With a shrug, Naruto responds, "meh, I'm sure whatever it is, the answer'll be yes." Counting with his fingers, Naruto asks and answers, "do I know who you are? Yes. Do I know who my parents are and that you taught my dad? Yes and yes. Do I know about my other chakra? Yes. Do I know how to use Rasengan? Yes. Do I know you're a Toad Summoner and you're going to teach me Kuchiyose no Jutsu so I can learn Sage Arts just like tou-chan? That's a fat hell yeah!"

Stunned slack-jawed, Jiraiya's eyebrows are high under his forehead protector and his mouth is stuck open, as if to ask, 'how,' but couldn't sound more than the H noise. At Naruto's innocent smile, Jiraiya finally bursts in sheer gut-busting laughter, eventually affirming, "you… you're something else, kid! Now I feel embarrassed," he adds, scratching the back of his head. Naruto is elated to hear as Jiraiya admits, "I wasn't sure how meeting you would go but I never could've predicted this."

Though it's great to meet family, Naruto recalls Naru-nii explain the details around learning summoning and sage arts. In hopes of becoming stronger and faster than his future counterpart, Naruto quickly bids, "Sweet! Now teach me!" Explore more stories at empire

"Hold your horses," his elder responds pumping out a palm. "First, tell me who told you all that. I spoke with the Sandaime about you, so I know it wasn't him."

"Uaahh," the blond bemoans, slinking at his crushed haste. "Can't we just start? I want to get to Mount Myōboku already."

Snorting, Jiraiya muses aloud, "don't kid yourself. You may know far more than I expected but there's no way you're making it to Myōboku anytime soon. So, come on. Spill it."

"Don't underestimate me, Ero-sennin," the blond declares with a fist pump.Nôv(el)B\\jnn

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