Chapter 193 I Will Be Who I Want To Be
The transition back to reality was sudden, jarring, as if someone had yanked me from the depths of a stormy sea and thrust me onto dry land.
My surroundings snapped into focus—the frost-coated battlefield, the shimmering menace of the Frostwrought Mirror looming ahead, and Erika, standing just a few feet away, her Skypiercer raised and glinting under the dim, eerie light.
Not a single second had passed since I had been submerged in that golden purgatory of anguish and sorrow.
As if that vision, or experience, never happened in the first place.
Allowing me to continue with my current endeavor.
"... It's a blur."
To me, the Frostwrought Mirror had shown me something incomprehensible, something it had struggled to convey. Its glassy surface swirled with blurred images, distorted shapes that danced just out of focus.
It was as if the mirror itself had fractured under the weight of what it wanted to reveal.
What was that? What did it want to show me?
I instinctively checked my Sanity. Despite everything I'd experienced, the shrieks of anguish, the towering tidal wave of molten gold, and the Pristine Daffodil's haunting visage, my Sanity had only dropped by 5%.
81% to 76%.
It was strange. I felt rattled to my core but not entirely undone. Whatever happened, my resolve had shielded me.
Yet, something was different. The air was thick now, tinged with a tension I could almost taste.
Although, not even knowing about what the vision on the Mirror was all about made me much more annoyed than I expected. Was the vision overwritten because of those Daffodils?
I turned my gaze to Erika. Her Skypiercer trembled in her hands, but she stood firm, her body radiating steadfastness despite the anxiety etched into her features. Her jaw was set, her breathing controlled, yet her amber eyes glistened with the flicker of something she rarely displayed. Fear.
"Erika," I said, my voice low but commanding, slicing through the brittle air like a knife.
"Yes, Radiant One?" she replied, straightening instantly. Her anxiety did not waver, but her loyalty burned through the cracks of her composure.
"What did you see?"
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed hard. For a moment, she hesitated, her gaze flickering to the Frostwrought Mirror and then back to me. "I saw... glimpses of myself, Lady Narcissus," she said, her voice steady despite the tremor in her hands. "But they weren't just versions of me. They were... other people who wore my face. They moved like me, spoke like me, but I could feel it—they weren't me. They were... wrong."
I nodded, keeping my expression neutral, though her words mirrored the dissonance I had felt within my own vision.
Not to mention, she did get a vision from the Frostwrought Mirror.
While trying to comprehend those visions, the icy tendrils in our surroundings got calmer, as if they were giving us time, or choice, to embrace the knowledge and touch the surface of the towering Mirror.
"And?" I pressed.
Her grip on the Skypiercer tightened. "They whispered things," she admitted, her voice quieter now. "Things I've thought about before... fears I've had but never voiced. It was like they were trying to unravel me from the inside out. But I held on." She met my gaze, her amber eyes fierce with determination. "For you, my Radiant One, I held on!"
Something about her sincerity cut through me. Erika was unflinching in her devotion, yet even she wasn't immune to the Frostwrought Mirror's cruel manipulations.
It hadn't even been a month yet, and she had already resolved her whole being to serve me. How couldn't I feel joy and pride upon the very followers that I cultivated?
I stepped closer to her, the frost crunching beneath my boots. "Erika," I said carefully, my tone sharp and deliberate. "If I ask something of you now, will you vow to do it? Without question?"
Her reply was immediate, her voice unwavering despite the tension in the air. "I vow it. Whatever you ask of me, I will obey without hesitation."
I studied her for a long moment, gauging the sincerity in her eyes. There was no hesitation, no doubt. She was a bastioneer through and through—a loyal soldier to the bitter end.
"Then you will swear to keep everything you see and hear from this moment forward a secret," I said. My words carried weight, an unspoken gravity that pressed against the space between us. "To speak not a word of it to anyone. Not Verina, not Lupina, not even Kuzunoha."
The last one was unnecessary, but it should be enough of an indication on how important her silence was in the grand scheme of things.
Erika nodded solemnly, clutching her Skypiercer like a knight swearing fealty. "I vow to keep your secrets, my shining one! My lips will remain sealed, even if my life depends on it!"
Her conviction was palpable, but even as she spoke, the unease in her eyes deepened. She didn't know what I was about to reveal, but she trusted me enough to take this vow blindly.
"Good," I murmured.
I exhaled deeply, steadying myself. For a moment, the air around us grew still, the frost-laden world holding its breath.
It had been a while since the muscle memory of my taller self was revisited.
I stepped away from Erika, creating a small distance between us.
Following the guidance that was embedded into my soul, I activated my Somashift Vessel to switch my entire physicality into the other one that was stored inside a private dimension.
Immediately, a ripple of overwhelming strength surged through me, a sensation both foreign and familiar as my form began to shift. My body was now elongated, taller, more imposing. My skin shimmered with a faint silver light, and my overgrown hair that reached the ground—now flowing like liquid silver—cascaded around me, moving as though alive.
When I opened my eyes, I felt the shift had been fully settled. My perspective had changed—higher, sharper, more focused. The cold no longer bit at me, and the weight of the Frostwrought Mirror's presence felt muted, distant.
This feeling of supremacy over everything that was below me as I looked down on them from the height of my power. It was definitely something that I shouldn't get addicted to.
I was no longer Narcissus.
I was Lambda.
I turned to face Erika, whose expression had shifted from loyalty and anxiety to sheer awe. Her mouth opened as if to speak, but no words came out.
Her knees buckled slightly, and she dropped to one knee, bowing her head low. "You're also Lambda all along! Truly, your beauty came in many form!""
I held up a hand. "Erika, stand," I commanded.
She obeyed instantly, though her movements were stiff, her hands trembling at her sides. "Just as I thought that I had already comprehended your greatness" she whispered, her voice tinged with reverence and confusion. "You showed me another one of your truths, one that only I know…"
Her words, though earnest, made me uneasy.
If I remember, I treated all of my bastioneers aside from my confidence rather similarly. So how did this one get this much attached to me when I didn't do anything notable yet?"
The Frostwrought Mirror began to tremble, its icy surface rippling violently as if responding to my transformation. The blurred images within its glass sharpened for the briefest of moments, revealing fleeting glimpses of something ominous—fractured timelines, shattered choices, countless selves all vying for dominance.
My silver hair flowed around me like a storm as I raised my hand, my voice echoing with a new authority. "Erika," I said, my tone steady and commanding. "I want you to look at the power that is about to be displayed in front of you. I want you to put this view in your heart, as you strive your best to achieve it before the end of your existence."
"Yes, my Goddess," she replied, her voice firm despite the awe in her gaze.
The Frostwrought Mirror let out a final, guttural hum that reverberated through the frost-laden battlefield, its icy tendrils lashing out toward me with a desperate ferocity. The air crackled with an oppressive tension, the mirror's chaotic energy drawn inexorably to my transformed presence.
Experience tales with empire
Standing as Lambda, I felt no fear, no hesitation—only an unshakable clarity.
I took a single step forward, and the ground beneath me trembled. Frost cracked and splintered under my intention, and the very air seemed to yield to my presence. My silver hair, flowing like molten mercury, danced in an unseen current, refracting the dim light into blinding streaks.
The Frostwrought Mirror writhed, its towering form pulsating with an unnatural rhythm. It was as if it recognized its end was near.
Without a word, I drew back my hand, as thunder of muscles focused around my fist, concentrating into a vortex of condensed might.
The movement was slow and deliberate, yet the sheer force radiating from it sent cracks spidering across the battlefield.
I skipped ten meters forward faster than the speed of sound, and launched a normal but slightly serious punch.
My fist stopped mere centimeters before the surface of the Frostwrought Mirror. The air between my knuckles and the icy glass rippled violently, as though reality itself were straining against the force.
Then, with a deafening crack, a shockwave erupted from the point of near-contact.
The Frostwrought Mirror screamed.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om
Its crystalline surface splintered outward in slow motion, the fragments catching the light like shards of a dying star.
A surge of icy mist erupted from the cracks, sweeping outward like a tidal wave, but it never reached me. My presence alone dispelled the frost, leaving only a barren, shattered husk of what was once a fearsome Calamity Object.
The battlefield fell silent. The oppressive weight of the Frostwrought Mirror's influence dissipated, replaced by an eerie stillness.
The shattered remnants of the mirror dissolved into a fine, glittering dust, carried away on an unseen wind.
I exhaled slowly, releasing the energy that had gathered in my form. My silver hair ceased its flowing motion, settling softly around me like a silken curtain. And with that, I Somashifted back to my original form. My towering frame instantly shrinks back to its usual stature.
Within moments, Lambda was gone, and Narcissus stood in her place.
Erika, still baffled, especially after knowing that the very reinforcement they got back then was their own very leader all along, stared at the empty space where the Frostwrought Mirror had stood. Her Skypiercer lay forgotten at her side, her expression a mix of awe and disbelief.
"... It will take a while," she wryly smiled, realizing that she promised to achieve the very same level of power that I showcased just now.
I turned to her, my expression calm but sharp. "I promised you a display of power worth remembering, didn't I?"
"Let's head back," I said, my tone commanding but not harsh. "We've done enough here, and I want to hear Verina's report."
"Yes, my godly leader!" Erika said, springing to her feet.
She stopped for a moment before falling into step behind me, her posture straighter than usual, her Skypiercer clutched tightly in her hands.
As we walked, the icy battlefield gradually gave way to the sturdier, well-patrolled perimeter of the bastion. The familiar sight of the walls and the warm glow of torchlight brought a sense of relief, but my mind was still occupied by the encounter with the Frostwrought Mirror.
Verina was already waiting for us at the central rally point, her Black Wheels humming faintly as they kept her elevated just above the ground. Lupina's head was strapped securely to her waist, her expression one of casual expressions she has as though the chaos of the Ordeal hadn't phased her in the slightest.
Probably because she no longer had any duty bound to her since she was just a talking disembodied head.
"Done playing with icy nightmares?" Verina called out as we approached. Her tone was dry, but there was a glimmer of satisfaction in her eyes.
"Very much so," I replied. "And you?"
Verina smirked, lowering herself to the ground. "The Wailing Clocktower is no more. It's barrier was tricky, but nothing we couldn't handle. A combination of arcane precision and good old-fashioned teamwork did the trick."
Teamwork, huh. I wondered what kind of workout that she gave to the bastioneers.
"And your squad?" I asked, glancing at the bastioneers who had accompanied her.
"They performed admirably," she said, a rare note of approval in her voice.
I nodded, a sense of pride welling up within me. "Good work, like the usual Verina that I love and trust."
Verina shrugged, but her rare yet eerie smirk widened. "What can I say? I aim to impress."
As the bastioneers regrouped and prepared for the next phase of the Ordeal, I allowed myself a moment of quiet reflection.
The Frostwrought Mirror's supposedly haunting vision might not have lingered at the edges of my mind, yet I brought back something else that was unnecessary to my survival.
But one thing was clear.
Whatever fate awaited me, whatever truths I had yet to uncover, I would face them head-on.
I'm Narcissus. I'm Lambda. I'm whoever I chose to be.
There will be no force—be it a Daffodil's sorrow, Calamity Object's manipulation, Qliphoth Object's overwhelming danger, nor a shady pranks—could dictate my story.