Jujutsushi Wa Yuusha Ni Narenai

Chapter 138: Confession Unmade

We quickly made our way to the starting fairy square of this zone.

Yamajun was hurt bad. I wanted to help him as soon as possible, but we couldnt risk it away from the safety of the square.

At the time, I performed basic first aid with the salves I had on hand, and to lessen the bleeding, I wrapped him in blackhair. Blackhair bind was also useful in carrying him on Raptors back so that he didnt fall.

And the moment we arrived, I began his treatment. I say that, but Im neither a doctor nor do I have a calling specializing in healing. I cant really do much.

Gently now

Sure, careful guys

Y-Yamajun, stay with us!

We set him down by the fountain and took off his outer wear. Unbuttoning his gakuran and shirt, I pulled up his blood soaked undershirt.

Ugh, its bad

I despaired.

The wind blade had sliced into him from the top of his right shoulder all the way to his left hip. The large gash kept gushing out blood, tinting him scarlet.

Can my ointment A really handle something like this? Even if it healed, what if he lost too much blood by then and Ah, fuck it, do now, think later!

I quickly clean the affected area with water, dumped the contents of my bag and grab the desired ointment container. Applying more doesnt necessarily do more, but I wasnt feeling frugal. I practically buried the wound in ointment.

Uh, Khh Uu

Yamajun groaned in pain. Maybe it stings? Just bear with it, this time only, promise.

Oi Momokawa, tell me hes fine right!?

Shut up Yamada

Yamada, panicking and desperate, was seeking reassurance I couldnt give. I then realized that it was better to tell him its fine anyway, but Ueda was a step ahead and Id lost my timing.

Momokawa-kun Are you, there?

Yamajun!?

Though tinged with pain, Yamada spoke in a clear voice. It was a small voice that felt as if it would disappear any second but, he was conscious.

Dont force yourself, alright? The ointment might work faster if you

Its OK Ju-just listen I, might not get another chance

I suddenly thought about how Ive read this scene in a lot of manga. The useless thoughts buzzing into my head must be how I was trying to deny this reality.

Be that as it may, I still had a duty to hear a dying friends last words.

I couldnt look away from this. An important friend was on the fine line between life and death. I couldnt even imagine ignoring his parting words.

I wrote down, everything I know about the ancient language, its in my notebook Im sorry Momokawa-kun, I couldnt teach you properly

No, you did great, really. And thanks, Ill read it

Shitshit, why are you talking like youre leaving behind your will.

Ueda-kun Youre, the bravest one of us I know that youll, be the first to charge in no matter the enemy

Shit, fuck you Yamajun, why do you gotta say that now!

Nakai-kun, you, haha, youre great at reading people You handle our vanguard If its you, we can take down any monster

Heh, heheh, so you did notice. Thats right, Its thanks to me we have great teamwork!

Shimokawa-kun, youre the best at making, decisions on your feet Thank you, we escaped just now thanks to you

No I, if I was a little faster, we wouldve

And Yamada-kun, Ive known you the longest among the guys here Thank you, for being a great friend

You, dumbass you say that like youre gonna die!

Youre our strongest Protect the guys So dont worry so much, trust in your friends

I know, I got it! So Yamajun, dont

Yamada was sobbing like a baby. But so were the rest of us. It just couldnt be helped.

Momokawa-kun Youre the leader. And I know youre a good one at that

I, Im nothing like that I could just barely manage, and even that was because you were there

You are despite your weak calling, youre brave, intelligent, and kind Even if you, had to kill someone, yeah?

Huh, so hed realized that I killed Higuchi?

I, believed that you did the right thing, I still believe it

How, how can you. Ive never done anything so great

Its because Ive always Nnng, ghh, cough!

As if his time was nearing, Yamajun started coughing violently. Blood came out, dirtying his mouth.

Haah, haaah. Sorry, I cant

Yamajun, its ok. Itll be alright, I put on lots of ointment. This thing saved me after I was almost done in by an armor bear you know? Youre be alright!

Yeah, I know Thank you

His life was fading away. Yamajun slowly closed the eyes on his pale white face.

Momokawa-kun Can you, hold my hand, please Its, cold

Of course

I gently held Yamajuns hand in both of mine, as if in prayer.

Thank you this, isnt that scary now

Yeah, youll be fine When you wake up, youll be all healed up

Shit, dont cry, dont cry. Howre you supposed to put him at ease looking this sad.

I had to believe. Even it its just me, at this moment, I had to believe that Yamajun would stay alive, but I

Good night Everyone

Yeah, good night, Yamajun

Ueda was the first to speak.

Guys, we shouldnt leave him like this

Right

Yeah

Nakai and Shimokawa also stood up.

W-wait up! What, the hell, are you trying to do!

Seeing the totem pole trio like that, Yamada began to yell.

The hell are you talking about

Calm down Yamada. I, we feel the same

Yamajun, hes

Shut your traps! Hes not, Yamajun is not dead!

Ah man, whats with this dumbass.

Yamajun is, fucking dead alright.

He stopped breathing already. His hearts stopped, and I even checked his pupil reflex. Theyre the 3 signs of death apparently.

Theyd remain wide even with light entering, meaning that he was completely brain dead too. Since pupillary reflex is governed by the brain, itd remain if just his heart had stopped.

Yes, by medical standards, Yamajun as a living person had completely ceased.

Yamajun, is dead

So I told him the unvarnished truth.

He looks peaceful. They say the dead may look like theyre simply sleeping, and its how it looked to me too. As if he could wake up any moment Which was only selfishness from those left behind.

I confirmed Yamajuns passing with my own hands. So that I could be sure that putting on more ointment wont help. So that I could convince myself that praying to god at this point wont cause any miracles.

Dont deny it, Yamada-kun

I stood up.

Our first course of action was to give Yamajun a burial.

Shit, shitshit shit shit shit

Yamada was crying his heart out while still helping us dig a hole at the base of a fairy walnut tree. He was after all, the closest friend to Yamajun among the 4 of us. As for myself, standing near such passionate mourning, my tears had pretty much dried up.

My head was already filled with a different emotion.

For us, Yamajuns death was painful, regretful and tragic beyond words. Its the type of thing you see in a drama show.

And yet, his death had no meaning. Honestly speaking, Yamajun had died for nothing.

Of course, he did end up saving me by getting hurt fatally himself. But thats it.

The act of saving someones life is truly valiant, yes, but if you died in the process, then its all for nothing. You shouldnt have to offer up your own life to save someone elses. Theres no meaning if only one comes out of it alive No, rather, I cant accept something like that.

Why did you save me. You knew that wind blade was fatal didnt you? If it was me, I wouldnt have done it. I definitely wouldnt. I value my life the most.

Whether he knew he was sacrificing himself to save me, or he was a good enough person to not even think on it and did it on reflex, at this point, who knows.

The ends are all that matters. My feelings on the matter are, in the end, just reasons tacked onto a result. The boy known as Yamakawa Junichirou had died. That was everything.

This isnt fair. I cant accept this. He didnt have a single reason to die. Yamajun, the heart of class 2-7, absolutely no one had anything against him.

This wasnt supposed to happen. This should not have happened.

What do you call this emotion it was Anger.

I, stopped being simply sad. I stopped shedding tears.

We laid Yamajun in the grave, and as a send off, we took flowers from the ones growing here and placed them over his body. Finally, we shoveled dirt over that and buried him, everyone still sobbing. I wasnt the same but wasnt about to blame them for it either.

I was the only one who wouldnt cry.

Because, unlike everyone else, I was mad with rage.

Reina I will kill you

This was the second time. My second oath of killing someone due to pure grudge.

For the sin of letting Yamajun die in vain, Reina A. Ayase will face the full extent of my curse.

===

TL: Scallop