I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

Chapter 910: How To Deal With Naughty Children

“You’re obviously thinking about it all the time, yet you still pretend to be sanctimonious!” Ai Mi said to me with disdain, “I heard from Winnie’s report that you touched Gong CaiCai’s breasts on the Ce Suo (washroom) Mountain! I bet you still remember what her breasts felt like! Why don’t you compare them with mines and see what actual high-quality breasts feel like?”

“It’s not Ce Suo Mountain, it’s Cui Song Mountain! Although there are washrooms on the mountain… but would Americans ever name a mountain as ‘WC Mountain’? Also, what happened with Gong CaiCai was purely accidental! It was an unfortunate accident!” I retorted without much confidence, “I had a bit of heat stroke at the time…”

“Ah! It’s so hot, I must be suffering from heat stroke…”

As Ai Mi said that, she fell towards me face first and pushed her breasts up at the same time.

“Heat stroke, my ass! It’s already November!”

Before Ai Mi bumped into me, I put my arms around her waist and flung her body over my left shoulder.

I ignored Ai Mi’s resistance and stood up from the ground with her body hung over my shoulders and put her onto her bed that had pink sheets.

“It’s 10:10 now, time to go to bed!”

I said to Ai Mi like an older brother.

“I just watched a horror movie and can’t sleep! Sit beside the bed with me!”

“In that case, just don’t watch any more horror movies! If you think about it carefully, you’re only 12 years old, so you can’t really even watch any horror movies! Are there even any horror movies with a rating lower than PG-13?”

“What’s wrong with being 12 years old?!” Ai Mi protested, “Don’t look down on me just because I’m only 12 years old! Do you know? In Batman, the first-generation Robin started working at the age of 9, and the second-generation Robin died at the age of 13!”

Don’t compare yourself to characters in superhero comics! Moreover, the first generation Robin (Dick) later stopped working as Batman’s assistant and became ‘Nightwing’ on his own. It could be regarded as an inspirational story since he became a follower at the age of 9, but the second generation Robin (Jason) was killed by Joker at the age of 13, so why would you even compare yourself to him?

Ai Mi and I began to discuss about superheroes right after discussing about a zombie apocalypse. At the same time, the birthday party prepared for Zhuang Ni was still in full swing (Xiao Qin told me the specifics the next day).

In order to keep it a ‘surprise’, Gong CaiCai was the one who called Zhuang Ni after they set up the party.

“My parents both left for business and it’s lonely being by myself. Can, can you spend Halloween together with me?”

Gong CaiCai spoke extremely nervously based on what Loud Mouth told her to say. The others all held their breath to avoid Zhuang Ni from noticing anything.

However, Zhuang Ni immediately noticed the abnormality in Gong CaiCai’s tone.

“The class leader is there, right? Who else? I’ll come over as long as there aren’t any boys.”

Now that she had already seen through their plan, the class leader could only tell the truth and confirmed that there weren’t any males in Gong CaiCai’s house. She said it would be a ‘girls’ night and only then did Zhuang Ni put her guard down and came over.

Even though the ‘surprise’ was gone, a ‘party’ was still a ‘party’. Even if Zhuang Ni didn’t act like the star of the show today, she couldn’t resist everyone’s persuasion and ended up doing many things she normally wouldn’t.

For example, she put on the cardboard crown that came with the cake (made by the class leader), then blew out the candles and made a wish secretly (it didn’t seem like it was to a benevolent god), and she even participated in a cake fight (initiated by Xiao Qin).

“Zhuang Ni, what did you wish for?” Xiong YaoYue asked while clearing away the cake on the floor with the class leader, “Don’t tell me you wished for world peace like Gong CaiCai?”

Zhuang Ni’s face darkened, “I wished that anyone who made a wish the same time as me will not have their wishes come true.”

That’s not a wish but a curse! Do you have a grudge against people who have the same birthday as you?

“Why can’t you be more cheerful?” Xiong YaoYue frowned and said to Zhuang Ni, “If you were as cheerful as me, then the class leader wouldn’t have to worry about you and throw a surprise birthday party for you! She should have at least threw one for me at the same time!”

“Because there’s no hope in the world.” Zhuang Ni’s eyes looked like it was a dark shade of gray, “All good things will eventually disappear…”

“Like the remaining half of the cake?” Xiong YaoYue continued, “It’s because Xiao Qin deliberately tripped you, that’s why you fell face first into the cream! Every debt has its debtor, every injustice has its perpetrator! You can settle the score with Xiao Qin, it has nothing to do with the world!”

“Nonsense! It was clearly not on purpose!” Xiao Qin protested, “Besides, it’s common knowledge that the birthday person gets their face smeared with cake, common knowledge!”

“Your argument makes it sound like it was deliberate, doesn’t it?” Xiong YaoYue’s hair tips were still dotted with cake crumbs, “Why did you start throwing it indiscriminately afterwards? It ended up with everyone having to take a shower…”

Zhuang Ni gave Xiao Qin a meaningful look, which Xiao Qin analyzed later. Zhuang Ni wasn’t angry about the cake-throwing because it gave her a chance to take a shower with the class leader and Gong CaiCai. The bathroom at Gong CaiCai’s house was very large. Although it didn’t have gold faucets like Ai Mi’s bathroom, it was still quite upscale and equipped with both a shower and a bathtub that could accommodate seven girls to use it together.

The bathing process of the “seven fairy maidens” seemed quite joyful, but Xiao Qin didn’t really go into detail. She was too busy comparing her chest size to Zhuang Ni and Little Smart to see who had the smallest breasts.

After cleaning up the cake, everyone started to discuss fairy tales after they saw the “Alice in Wonderland” posters in Gong CaiCai’s bedroom.

“Cai Cai, just because there’s a rabbit in that story, you shouldn’t blindly adore the entire story.” Zhuang Ni earnestly patted Gong CaiCai’s shoulder, “The author of ‘Alice in Wonderland’, Lewis Carroll, was a well-known pedophile. He wrote that book to charm the little girl next door…”

“No, no way.” Gong CaiCai was shocked and felt like her childhood was ruined.

“The author should be treated separately from their works to some extent.” The class leader, who wasn’t particularly versed in fairy tale history, could only say that to comfort Gong CaiCai, “A good person might write a bad story, and a bad person might write a good story, as long as the fairy tale itself is good…”

“There are hardly any good widely known fairy tales.” Zhuang Ni explained with heavy dark circles under her eyes, “Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White —— all three fairy tales had very dark original versions. Do you want to hear them?”

“Yes, tell us!” Xiong YaoYue eagerly widened her eyes, while Gong CaiCai desperately covered her ears as she felt like another childhood memory would be ruined.

“In the original version of Cinderella, after she wins the prince’s favor with the glass slipper, she brutally takes revenge on her stepmother and stepsisters. Her stepsisters had their eyes pecked out by birds, then Cinderella used the lid of a wooden chest to break her stepmother’s neck, a very unique way to kill…”

“That doesn’t sound right.” Xiong YaoYue, ignored the trembling Gong CaiCai, and interjected, “In the version of Cinderella I read, the stepmother was punished by being forced to dance in red-hot iron shoes until she died.”

Zhuang Ni spread out her hands, “Anyway, Cinderella was definitely a ruthless assassin, at least her imagination in slaughtering her enemies was on par with Daji.”

“As for Sleeping Beauty… the story was adapted from the 1634 Italian fairy tale ‘Sun, Moon, and Talia’ by Giambattista Basile. In the story, the prince’s kiss doesn’t wake Sleeping Beauty from her slumber. Instead, the prince does what most despicable men would do; he impregnates Sleeping Beauty and then leaves without a second thought…”

“I don’t want to hear it! I don’t want to hear anymore!” Gong CaiCai ran out of the room while still covering her ears, “Give me back my childhood!”

“Actually, sometimes I think we should read fewer fairy tales.” Xiao Qin mused, “I heard from Ai Mi that in America there are quite a few little girls who got parasitic infections from kissing amphibians after reading ‘The Frog Prince’…”

Zhuang Ni seemed to have gotten carried away and continued, “The original ‘Snow White’ was darker than any other fairy tale. Snow White wasn’t persecuted by her stepmother. The queen was her biological mother, but Snow White was exiled after being caught having an incestuous relationship with her father. Then, she had dubious relations with seven dwarfs, and the prince, who had necrophilia, was greatly displeased when Snow White, who had died from eating the poisoned apple, came back to life…”

“Enough!” the class leader glared at Zhuang Ni angrily, “Today is your birthday, and we were supposed to indulge you even if you acted a bit out of line. But ruining Cai Cai’s childhood over and over again is going overboard! And it’s not just Cai Cai, even my childhood…”

“Zhuang Ni is lying.” the well-informed Little Smart, pointed out, “Among the three stories she told, one isn’t the original version but a later adaptation!”

“Ah? So, two of them were the original versions?” Loud Mouth was shocked, “Western fairy tales are really dark and violent! Look at Chinese tales like Kua Fu chasing the sun or Jing Wei filling the sea, it’s so inspiring! One is about the youth running towards the sun, and the other is about solving the flooding problem…”

“You’d lie just to ruin Cai Cai’s childhood?” the class leader couldn’t contain her anger, she grabbed Zhuang Ni’s arm and dragged her to the bed.

“In our entire class, you’re the most disobedient one! I’m mostly worried about what happens to you after we graduate from middle school! It’s time someone gave you a good spanking!”

The class leader said as she held Zhuang Ni down, then raised her right hand up and brought it hard.

“Ah!”

The class leader had lifted up Zhuang Ni’s skirt and spanked her butt.

“Class leader, what are you doing?” Zhuang Ni struggled to get up, but the class leader, who believed she was enacting justice, completely suppressed Zhuang Ni.

“Ah!” “Ahh!”

The class leader hit her a couple more times. Although I wasn’t present, I assume Zhuang Ni’s butt was spanked red.

“Wow, that’s so explosive! Should we take a photo as a souvenir?” Xiong YaoYue quickly pulled out her phone.

“Put your phone away! Otherwise I’ll hit you too!” I’m not sure if it was because the class leader remembered the time when I spanked her, but in order to teach Zhuang Ni a lesson, she spanked her on the butt over ten times until her own hand was numb.

“Are you still going to tell any more dark fairy tales in the future?” The class leader asked sternly.

“Fairy tales aren’t really happy stories in the first place…”

Zhuang Ni was still talking back, but it seemed like Xiao Qin wanted to add more to the chaos because she asked:

“Class leader, if you’re tired, do you want me to take over? Although I don’t have any grudges with Zhuang Ni, I’m very willing to contribute in order to correct her wrong thinking and perform a good deed.”